One Chance for a Clean Start

[Cow Poke]

Tedious. Yes. I agree. Sometimes an "apology" is demanded so that the apology can be archived and used against that person in the future. Sometimes an "apology" is demanded because the demander wants to humiliate the apologizer. Let's hope this is not the case. If apologies are in order, let's not make them more difficult than they need to be.

Generally, OC, when an apology is "demanded", it rarely results in a sincere apology. It's like Mom taking me and Rogue and making us shake hands and say we're sorry. As soon as she leaves, Rouge is gonna stick his tongue out at me, I guarantee!

[Cow Poke]

I'm not talking about anyone specific . . there's enough to share all the blame. If you have done that type of apology CP then frankly my opinion is increased. If jeff or frank or jo or anyone else has not then it is about time they did and with some specificity too.

I have a whole thread on it, X, because, when I was new here, I made some stupid statements about Mormon undergarments, and it blew up in my face. I apologized sincerely, but it kept getting thrown back in my face over and over. And (to use the apparently acceptable naming convention in this thread) SOMEONE in this thread was the one who kept bringing it up!

And I didn't say "well, maybe I offended somebody" or "well, I'm sorry if you got offended" -- I fully admitted I said something stupid and was a jerk.

[Catholicity]

stop it!!!!!

cp best....sketch....ever.....

[Cow Poke]

Not always. But often.

Well, yeah, that's true --- when I sincerely apologized about the undergarment comments, it got me nowhere.

[Cow Poke]

cp best....sketch....ever.....

Don't you wish life were that simple? STOP IT!

[Xru]

I have a whole thread on it, X, because, when I was new here, I made some stupid statements about Mormon undergarments, and it blew up in my face. I apologized sincerely, but it kept getting thrown back in my face over and over. And (to use the apparently acceptable naming convention in this thread) SOMEONE in this thread was the one who kept bringing it up!

And I didn't say "well, maybe I offended somebody" or "well, I'm sorry if you got offended" -- I fully admitted I said something stupid and was a jerk.

Well that sucks big time. I don't think I'd have hardly noticed but assigned the person (s) who kept it up to the garbage bin. Obviously you are much nicer and more sensitive than I which is a no brainer and pretty obvious.

Letting someone else keep throwing stuff up unjustly in your face and then having yo react to it all over again to my way of thinking is letting another person control me, my feeling and my actions. This would be intolerable for me.

I don't understand why you would even pay attention to such stupidity . . . that to me is disturbing and sad.

[Catholicity]

Don't you wish life were that simple? STOP IT!

Could've saved me lots of money last year....

[Cow Poke]

Let's look at what JB said, and figure out if there are any "demands" there..... (bolding mine for empahsis)

Jeff, if those people are willing to apologize for their behavior and turn over a new leaf, I will gladly apologize for any offense that may have resulted from my reaction to their behavior, sure. I would especially be pleased with an apology and change of pace from Franktalk, and really a pledge from a number of people to quit playing the phony "more-spiritual-than-thou" card and to instead just get on with engaging the substance of issues. It's what I've always wanted. I have always been about searching for peaceful, civil, substantive, intelligent, informed discussion of the issues at hand, whenever the other party is willing. It's been difficult to find that with most people here. And I'm not of course saying that the non-LDS folks have been innocent; there's been some unnecessary instigating there too, for sure.

Jeff, I would welcome seeing you recant and apologize to ke7ejx for all of the cruel things you've said to her, and I would welcome your apologies to me for your treatment of me as well (both old and new), particularly with a recanting of allegations in both cases; and in turn, I'll be more than happy to apologize for anything I've said to you that you think was unfair, and I would fully expect that others would do the same. (Though I think a general precondition in this case should perhaps be an apology to the forum itself.) Just like before (though - and you may disagree - I would contend that I am still keeping the aforementioned pledge unbroken toward anyone else who took it and kept it, just as was stipulated), and I'd be glad for us to give it another go. If you're sure you want to. Whatever course of action you think will be most spiritually and morally healthy for you from here on out.

Now, I'm just a country boy, and sometimes I have a hard time figuring out what the Heck JB is even talking about, but I have studied this very carefully, and, perhaps in my iggernence, I can't see anything that even RESEMBLES a "demand".

Can somebody smarter than me please hilight the "demand" parts?

Thanks

The guy is so sickening sweet I want to throw up*!!!!



*drama

[eudyptes]

I try...emphasis on try, I'm not always successful....to implement the "You can't make me" rule....




....basically it goes...."you can't make me mad" (fill in the blank with upset, worried, angry, sad.....) if I react that way to a comment, then I'm reacting by my choice. I can change my choices...I'm not going to be able to change "you".

When applied successfully.....things seem to go much smoother.

[Cow Poke]

Well that sucks big time. I don't think I'd have hardly noticed but assigned the person (s) who kept it up to the garbage bin. Obviously you are much nicer and more sensitive than I which is a no brainer and pretty obvious.

Letting someone else keep throwing stuff up unjustly in your face and then having yo react to it all over again to my way of thinking is letting another person control me, my feeling and my actions. This would be intolerable for me.

I don't understand why you would even pay attention to such stupidity . . . that to me is disturbing and sad.

It's part of the process, X. And it's some of the frustration I've had dealing here. I've had constant attacks on my character and accusations of dishonesty, but when I ask for an ACTUAL QUOTE or an ACTUAL EXAMPLE, the accuser slinks away and starts something else. It is INCREDIBLY frustrating at times. But it's part of the process. We're big boys, and we often get upset and say stupid things, and I probably say more than my share of stupid things ---- but you can ask OC, I have even RECENTLY apologized in the middle of a discussion with him because *I* realized I was sounding snarky, even though I didn't mean to.

I keep coming back to the Wisdom OC displayed in his quote about CHOOSING not to be offended. That would go a LONG way in the discussions -- and, yeah, ME TOO!

[Cow Poke]

I try...emphasis on try, I'm not always successful....to implement the "You can't make me" rule....
....basically it goes...."you can't make me mad" (fill in the blank with upset, worried, angry, sad.....) if I react that way to a comment, then I'm reacting by my choice. I can change my choices...I'm not going to be able to change "you".

When applied successfully.....things seem to go much smoother.

EXACTLY! And that's what OC is saying here... (bolding mine)

This may shock you too, I don't know, but I think that being offended is a choice people make to justify themselves and feel better about some of their other choices. I can honestly say that I have never been offended by any person in the Church where I have let it fester for more than about a day. Taking offense at something is probably one of the last things I want to do where my faith is concerned.

So, yeah, a CHOICE not to get offended, because we KNOW this is a debate forum, and sometimes opinions run hot.

[OtherCheek]

I have a whole thread on it, X, because, when I was new here, I made some stupid statements about Mormon undergarments, and it blew up in my face. I apologized sincerely, but it kept getting thrown back in my face over and over. And (to use the apparently acceptable naming convention in this thread) SOMEONE in this thread was the one who kept bringing it up!

That would likely be me. :embarrassed: But it was not your apology that I "threw in your face." I was reminding you of how slanted your views were to begin with when you first came to Tweb. And I've been here longer than you have.

But. I apologize for bringing it up again. I won't bring it up again, and I hope you will stop archiving my posts from years back for the purpose of using them to embarrass me.

[Cow Poke]

That would likely be me. :embarrassed: But it was not your apology that I "threw in your face." I was reminding you of how slanted your views were to begin with when you first came to Tweb. And I've been here longer than you have.

Well, that may have been ONE of the times. I'm so glad that when we confess our sins to Christ, he doesn't find an excuse to keep bringing them up. (I'm kidding you, OC, in good nature -- I appreciate your candor here)

But. I apologize for bringing it up again.

And I'll TRY not to use it as an example, again, of my honest and sincere apologies that get ... well... yeah.

I won't bring it up again, and I hope you will stop archiving my posts from years back for the purpose of using them to embarrass me.

Ummmmm..... I'll pray about that one. (And the preceding post brings up a more RECENT quote - not from years back )

[rogue06]

Generally, OC, when an apology is "demanded", it rarely results in a sincere apology. It's like Mom taking me and Rogue and making us shake hands and say we're sorry. As soon as she leaves, Rouge is gonna stick his tongue out at me, I guarantee!

Not since the Third Grade


























































Since then I prefer to punch you in the snout.

[humbled4444]

Thats what I'm talking about folks!! Thats the light of Christ right there....I love it, I'm feeling the love :)