Exercise Caution

Quote Originally posted by princesa View Post
That's a great point, I was more being specific to the topic at hand but that philosophy doesn't work well with other matters that might hinder spiritual growth I agree. For example, I am very comfortable not being forgiving to someone who has hurt me many years ago even though that person has changed and although they haven't apologized (I know there is some debate as to whether forgiveness should come only after an apology as I have a thread on it) BUT I lie, because I'm not exactly comfortable,sometimes I feel like taking a kind action to this person and sometimes I DO but then I regress and become the grudge holder again. Perhaps I am not advancing for the kingdom of God because of this. Not sure. Anyway, it's been a pleasure interacting with you, thank you for your posts.
As I am not in your shoes and am not aware of (or rather, living) the "interpersonal relational dynamics" (or some ridiculous terminology like that) of the situation, I'll simply throw some off the wall comments at this one for fun (not at your expense, I hope).

First, sometimes it's wise to be wary of certain people. There are certain people I have had in my life and I would not invite or allow them back into my life only with the exception I were given an explicit divine revelation directing me to in an awe-inspiring dream or vision. Why? I have every reason NOT to trust them. Some people simply are not safe to have in your life. Just because we're Christians doesn't mean we're to allow just anybody to enter, reenter or otherwise force or "allow themselves" into our lives.

Do people sometimes genuinely change? Yes, sometimes they do. But many times they do not. Extremely dangerous and destructive people tend to persist in their various forms of destructiveness until the day they croak. Cynical observation? Maybe. True? In many, if not most, such cases. I'll be frank, utilizing a personal example: There are relatives of mine who I cannot, do not and will not trust or really (re)allow into my life. Am I just playing it safe? Maybe. Or am I being wise? More wise, I think.

Another off the wall observation which may not pertain to you: A lot of people do not genuinely like dealing with the damage they've caused to others in relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, so on, so forth). The "sweeping under the rug" approach oftentimes is a form of abuse. The evil hasn't been genuinely owned up to, but it's "on you" to just sort of forget it, forgive, "let it go". In other words, it's just "on you". This may not apply to you; maybe it does.

A word to all of of us: Again, be wise. There are people -- some are professed Christians -- who you ought not allow into your life. Sometimes we need to be proactive in the disallowing business. Sometimes our family members or our relatives, our boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, grown (or "adult") children, fathers, mothers, "friends", church buddies, &c., are just flat-out toxic. As I type this, though my life is now horrible (somewhat tongue-in-cheek, somewhat not), I can be genuinely thankful that there are certain people from my recent past I have no contact with. For this I am glad and I took the steps to make sure of it. There are sometimes people in our lives that ought not be there and it's okay -- better, right -- to extricate ourselves from entanglements with these unhealthy people.

But that's just me going on and on about general thoughts on some matters.