Are You Ugly...Inside?

[princesa]

My wife started reading a book "What's it like being married to me" by Linda Dillow...and ran across a "gripes be gone" challenge. (Here's a link, where a blogger explains it pretty well - http://leahs-ideas.blogspot.com/2011...s-be-gone.html)

Anyway, I've committed to do the same thing...we're shooting for 21 days without switching wrists...not just 21 days. It's been pretty telling and amazing how in a matter of a few weeks our thinking has shifted, where we'd jump to the negative thought....now we frequently (not always) jump to a more positive/thankful thought...not just what's coming out of our mouths, but our actual thoughts.

Several people have asked us about our purple bracelets, especially if you're swapping wrists in front of them; it's been an eye opener how many people react with something along the line...."if I couldn't gripe/complain, I'd be boring" or "we wouldn't have anything to say" or "we'd not have anything to talk about". Seems we have, we being all of us, been trained/trained ourselves that the negative side is the "best" (or only) side as far as communication.





And in the interest in full disclosure....I have almost reached 2 days straight without swapping my wristband.....as of today I'm 15 hours (give or take) into my 21 days (we reset the counter every time we switch). It's still a struggle...but we're both down to 1-2 a day....the first week or so we were both 1-2 every 10-20 minutes it seemed.

Eudyptes, i absolutely love this idea. I've have her other book 'Calm my anxious heart' which i haven't read in full. I really feel inspired to do this with my husband (thank you for the idea) so I'm going to read more on the blog about how to get started and how to introduce him to the idea.

as an aside, I think i'm a big griper and will stretch out that bracelet from all the switching of wrists that will be done but at least the action will serve as a reminder of how much we do it and how we can and should change that negative response into at least a more level and calm one.

[Rdr. Arsenios]

do you hold to this philosophy if someone did something more violent and intrusive to another?

I hold to the teachings of Christ, to love my neighbor, to not judge him, to forgive him all manner of sins against me, and to turn the other cheek, blessing when reviled, giving my cloak when he steals my tunic, even unto death...

This is, after all, the MARTYRIC Church...

And we hug and kiss all the time, xyboom... :-)

Arsenios

[princesa]

I hold to the teachings of Christ, to love my neighbor, to not judge him, to forgive him all manner of sins against me, and to turn the other cheek, blessing when reviled, giving my cloak when he steals my tunic, even unto death...

this sounds a little like skipping nonchalantly instead of walking carefully.... like we should all be doormats in love with those who hurt us. I also hold to the teachings of Christ (as much as I can muster day to day) but still, to say someone deserves to get mistreated (e.g)! Even Jesus says 'woe to those who cause any one of these little ones to stumble'..sometimes that's what abuse does. do you think we're on the same page?

And we hug and kiss all the time, xyboom... :-)

well now, I'm sure you warmed his heart just now.

[yxboom]

I hold to the teachings of Christ, to love my neighbor, to not judge him, to forgive him all manner of sins against me, and to turn the other cheek, blessing when reviled, giving my cloak when he steals my tunic, even unto death...

This is, after all, the MARTYRIC Church...

There is a vast difference between blessing someone who offends you out of love for your neighbor, and asking forgiveness from your offender because you think you are wretched and deserve worst than their offense. This is self-loathing not other-loving. You are very knowledgable, but I must disagree that you have an understanding of martyrdom. You may know its definition which is to witness, but you lack the understanding of what that entails. We are to love as God does causing the sun to shine on the good and bad (Matt 5:45), the list of Christ's teachings stem from a love for all people not a vile hatred for yourself, what you advocate is in direct contrast to the teachings of Jesus. You are beloved Arsenios, and you were worth Jesus dying on the cross because He loves you so much.

And we hug and kiss all the time, xyboom... :-)

Arsenios

That is wonderful.

[fm93]

I recommend David Foster Wallace's speech "This is Water." It's somewhat lengthy (it was a commencement address that he delivered to Kenyon College in 2005), but it's worth the read.

It contains some profanity, so I can't link to it, but you can easily find the transcript by Googling "This is Water."

[yxboom]

I recommend David Foster Wallace's speech "This is Water." It's somewhat lengthy (it was a commencement address that he delivered to Kenyon College in 2005), but it's worth the read.

It contains some profanity, so I can't link to it, but you can easily find the transcript by Googling "This is Water."

Is this it?

[fm93]

Also, I should add that the recommendation is for anyone who reads this thread, not solely for Boom.

[yxboom]

Also, I should add that the recommendation is for anyone who reads this thread, not solely for Boom.

wow, my first post was just a rip off of his speech.

[fm93]

Don't look at it as "Darn, someone beat me to my insight," but rather "Great minds think alike."

[princesa]

Don't look at it as "Darn, someone beat me to my insight," but rather "Great minds think alike."

no, i think he should feel bad. it was a rip off, fair and square

[yxboom]

no, i think he should feel bad. it was a rip off, fair and square

cold blooded.

[Rdr. Arsenios]

There is a vast difference between blessing someone who offends you out of love for your neighbor, and asking forgiveness from your offender because you think you are wretched and deserve worst than their offense. This is self-loathing not other-loving.

This is only for those who feel offended, perhaps, and are assaulting you out of indignation or thereabouts... If they are merely killing a bunch of you, say as Muslims have killed a bunch of Christians in a Church by sealing the doors and setting fire to it [This has happened way more than just once...], then the appropriate thing to do is to pray for those setting the fires, barring the doors, and yelling God is Great... You won't have much time to forgive them, or to pray for them, for your end is at hand, and you are bout to enter into the Mystery of Death, and your final prayers should be in the repentance which is forgiving your tormentors and murderers... And for those you love... And for God's Mercy...

You are very knowledgable, but I must disagree that you have an understanding of martyrdom. You may know its definition which is to witness, but you lack the understanding of what that entails. We are to love as God does causing the sun to shine on the good and bad (Matt 5:45), the list of Christ's teachings stem from a love for all people, and not a vile hatred for yourself, what you advocate is in direct contrast to the teachings of Jesus.

We have a Saint, Basil I think it is, who was tortured in prison by children who would beat and break and burn his hands... Teenagers did this to him... And they thought they were doing the right thing...

And each day, at the beginning of his tortures, he would say to them: "My hands, little brothers, deserve far worse than what you are doing to them, for they have committed many sins, and for this I am in your debt... But my children, I am worried for you, and pray for each of you by name each and every night, because for you to do this to one of God's creatures created in His Image is not good for your souls... No good for you can come of it... Here are my unworthy hands... Do with them as you will..."

His icon has large, luminous, gentle and dark eyes that have seen and loved much, and his holy hands are small and mis-shapen...

The point being that the Holy Spirit will tell you what to say if you receive what God allows in gratitude...

You are beloved Arsenios, and you were worth Jesus dying on the cross because He loves you so much.

Indeed God so loved the cosmos that He gave His only-begotten Son...

I do not self loathe...

I loathe the sins of self...

That is wonderful.

We are a loving and joyful people...

Arsenios