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  • Squirrels

    The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels.
    After prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
    At the Lutheran Church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.
    The elders met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.
    The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
    The Methodist Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures.
    So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Lutheran Church.
    Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Lutherans took down the water slide.
    But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy.
    They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church.
    Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
    Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
    They haven't seen a squirrel since.
    A happy family is but an earlier heaven.
    George Bernard Shaw

  • #2
    Fake News!!!!

    Comment


    • #3
      Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

      Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
      sigpic
      I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

      Comment


      • #4

        I'm always still in trouble again

        "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
        "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
        "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Sparko View Post
          Fake News!!!!
          Likely the squirrels requested aid from the NSA explaining why they don't see any and meaning that the members of that synagogue are doomed. Doomed I say.

          I'm always still in trouble again

          "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
          "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
          "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

          Comment


          • #6
            squirrel-priest.jpg

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Catholicity View Post
              The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels.
              After prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
              At the Lutheran Church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery.
              The elders met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves.
              The squirrels liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
              The Methodist Church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures.
              So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Lutheran Church.
              Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Lutherans took down the water slide.
              But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy.
              They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church.
              Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.
              Not much was heard from the Jewish Synagogue; they took the first squirrel and circumcised him.
              They haven't seen a squirrel since.
              Now that was cute!
              Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbnueb2OI4o&t=3s

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by seer View Post
                Now that was cute!
                Squirrels are getting fed up with being called "cute" and the like.

                I'm always still in trouble again

                "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by rogue06 View Post
                  Squirrels are getting fed up with being called "cute" and the like.
                  [ATTACH=CONFIG]24810[/ATTACH]
                  The next time I see one you rats in the woods I'm letting my Aussie off the dog leash.
                  Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

                  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbnueb2OI4o&t=3s

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by seer View Post
                    The next time I see one you rats in the woods I'm letting my Aussie off the dog leash.

                    CAjdxo7UMAAzajL.jpg

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Sparko View Post
                      [ATTACH=CONFIG]24819[/ATTACH]
                      Ommmmmm....
                      Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

                      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbnueb2OI4o&t=3s

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by seer View Post
                        The next time I see one you rats in the woods I'm letting my Aussie off the dog leash.
                        Pray hard it isn't one of my NSA that you encounter.


                        Then again being Ninja Squirrel Assassins you'd only see him as the last thing you ever saw.

                        I'm always still in trouble again

                        "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" --starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)
                        "Overall I would rate the withdrawal from Afghanistan as by far the best thing Biden's done" --Starlight
                        "Of course, human life begins at fertilization that’s not the argument." --Tassman

                        Comment

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