Do you believe in zombies?

[Rational Gaze]

The story of Jesus and his resurection is an ancient take on zombies.

False.

[Zymologist]

Do I believe in zombies?

I believe in Fido, I'll say that. All the zombie you could ever need.

[JimL]

False.

Well, yeah, thanks for pointing that out. The reverse would be more like it, i.e. its more like zombies are a more modern take on the resurrection.

[One Bad Pig]

Your entry for the most absurd and self-evidently false claim of the year has been submitted and received. Thank you for your submission.

Did you HAVE to resurrect this steaming pile?

[Christianbookworm]

Did you HAVE to resurrect this steaming pile?

Does this make this a zombie thread according to JimL?

[Rational Gaze]

Well, yeah, thanks for pointing that out. The reverse would be more like it, i.e. its more like zombies are a more modern take on the resurrection.

Also, false.

A zombie in the modern sense is a diseased organism that has been re-animated by some agent, usually a virus, but is not functionally alive. Think 'The Walking Dead', Resident Evil, etc.

In Jewish (and thus, by extension, Christian) belief, something is resurrected if and only if there is a complete restoration of the physical body to actual life, following by a supernatural transformation into an immortal, but still physical, version. Hence why Jesus could prevent people from recognising Him initially and phase through things, appearing and disappearing at will, whilst simultaneously could be interacted with physically, and do things that humans could, such as eating fish. This was different even from other raisings, such as that of Lazarus, who was raised from the dead back to biological life, but, presumably, went on to die again.

There are other varieties of zombie, however. There's the physically dead but nevertheless supernaturally animated kind, i.e. Lichs. There's the Haitian voodoo zombies, which are basically people in trances, and are 'impervious' to harm (sounds kind of like PCP, to be honest). Then there are the P-Zombies, where the lights are on, but nobody is home, so to speak. Kind of like golems. Claiming that Jesus is a zombie is basically committing a fallacy of equivocation.

[Rational Gaze]

Did you HAVE to resurrect this steaming pile?

You didn't burn and salt the bodies.

[rogue06]

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[Sparko]

Moonwalk it!

[Rushing Jaws]

The story of Jesus and his resurection is an ancient take on zombies. Along with the resurrected Jesus of course, Matthew also has many long dead people, aka zombies, climbing out of their respective graves after an earthquake opened them up. The zombies then walked about the town an appeared to many according to Paul. And how is it that they, the long dead saints, aka zombies, resurrected prior to the resurrection of Jesus? Wasn't he supposed to be first? I don't know, I could be wrong about that. But why is none of this in the other gospels? Why is there no thundering, earthquakes or resurrected zombies walking around mentioned in Mark, Luke or John? Seems like a pretty important part of the story to forget or leave out if true.

So, do you believe in zombies, do long dead people resurrect fully intact? And why is this astonishing event not mentioned anywhere other than in Matthew?

15 The word of the Lord came to me:16 17 11 12 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them.14 18 19 20 Hold before their eyes the sticks you have written on21 22 I will make them one nation in the land, on the mountains of Israel. There will be one king over all of them and they will never again be two nations or be divided into two kingdoms.23 They will no longer defilethemselves with their idols and vile images or with any of their offenses, for I will save them from all their sinful backsliding,[b] and I will cleanse them. They will be my people, and I will be their God.

24 25 26 I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant. I will establish them and increase their numbers,and I will put my sanctuary among them forever. 27 My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people. 28