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Thread: A Beauty for Old King David

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    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    A Beauty for Old King David

    When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

    The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.

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    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    1 Kings 1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”

    3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
    -------------

    If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one? Even an old man with no interest in sex can appreciate beauty.

  3. Amen Jedidiah, Mountain Man amen'd this post.
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    tWebber seer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post
    If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one?
    No duh!
    Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

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    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post
    1 Kings 1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”

    3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
    -------------

    If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one? Even an old man with no interest in sex can appreciate beauty.
    I think I’d bring him the first warm woman I could find since he was cold. Would I bring an elephant woman? Probably not, but I’m pretty sure 7s and 8s were plentiful.

    I posed the question because it’s a theocracy rather than a run-of-the-mill monarchy wherein a servant could be killed for bringing anything less than a supermodel.

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

    The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.
    Kinda reminds me of the story of the guy who went to the doc, and the doc told him he had cancer and only 6 months to live.
    The man, very distraught, asked the doc, "isn't there anything I can do?"
    Doc told him "marry an ugly woman and move to New Mexico".
    The man demanded to know how that would help him live longer.
    Doc replied "oh, it won't, but it will sure feel like it!"



    1 Tim 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.

  7. Amen whag, Rushing Jaws amen'd this post.
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    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cow Poke View Post
    Kinda reminds me of the story of the guy who went to the doc, and the doc told him he had cancer and only 6 months to live.
    The man, very distraught, asked the doc, "isn't there anything I can do?"
    Doc told him "marry an ugly woman and move to New Mexico".
    The man demanded to know how that would help him live longer.
    Doc replied "oh, it won't, but it will sure feel like it!"


    I wonder if the servants were in danger of parading temptation in front of the king. It appears God let David get away with some harmless extramarital fun, provided David didn’t use any more husbands as arrow fodder.

  9. Amen Rushing Jaws amen'd this post.
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    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    David had several wives; Bathsheba was merely the latest (recorded). Given succession struggles between sons of different wives, it's probably politics that kept Bathsheba from that role. A young woman brought in just to keep him warm wouldn't cause that problem. As Sparko said, why not have a pretty woman do the job? It's not as if dying men are prone to sexual temptation.
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    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    David had several wives; Bathsheba was merely the latest (recorded). Given succession struggles between sons of different wives, it's probably politics that kept Bathsheba from that role. A young woman brought in just to keep him warm wouldn't cause that problem. As Sparko said, why not have a pretty woman do the job?
    Because he was cold.


    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig
    It's not as if dying men are prone to sexual temptation.
    If he was dying, there’d have been an urgency. It specified no shenanigans were involved, which needn’t be said if he couldn’t perform sexually.

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    Because he was cold.
    A pretty woman warms the cockles of any redblooded American Hebrew man's heart!

    1 Tim 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.

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    tWebber Faber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

    The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.
    Maybe Bathsheba looked like Hillary. After all, it worked for Bill Clinton.

  14. Amen whag amen'd this post.

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