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A Beauty for Old King David

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  • A Beauty for Old King David

    When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

    The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.

  • #2
    1 Kings 1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”

    3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
    -------------

    If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one? Even an old man with no interest in sex can appreciate beauty.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Sparko View Post
      If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one?
      No duh!
      Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jbnueb2OI4o&t=3s

      Comment


      • #4
        Originally posted by Sparko View Post
        1 Kings 1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”

        3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
        -------------

        If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one? Even an old man with no interest in sex can appreciate beauty.
        I think I’d bring him the first warm woman I could find since he was cold. Would I bring an elephant woman? Probably not, but I’m pretty sure 7s and 8s were plentiful.

        I posed the question because it’s a theocracy rather than a run-of-the-mill monarchy wherein a servant could be killed for bringing anything less than a supermodel.

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by whag View Post
          When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

          The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.
          Kinda reminds me of the story of the guy who went to the doc, and the doc told him he had cancer and only 6 months to live.
          The man, very distraught, asked the doc, "isn't there anything I can do?"
          Doc told him "marry an ugly woman and move to New Mexico".
          The man demanded to know how that would help him live longer.
          Doc replied "oh, it won't, but it will sure feel like it!"


          The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
            Kinda reminds me of the story of the guy who went to the doc, and the doc told him he had cancer and only 6 months to live.
            The man, very distraught, asked the doc, "isn't there anything I can do?"
            Doc told him "marry an ugly woman and move to New Mexico".
            The man demanded to know how that would help him live longer.
            Doc replied "oh, it won't, but it will sure feel like it!"


            I wonder if the servants were in danger of parading temptation in front of the king. It appears God let David get away with some harmless extramarital fun, provided David didn’t use any more husbands as arrow fodder.

            Comment


            • #7
              David had several wives; Bathsheba was merely the latest (recorded). Given succession struggles between sons of different wives, it's probably politics that kept Bathsheba from that role. A young woman brought in just to keep him warm wouldn't cause that problem. As Sparko said, why not have a pretty woman do the job? It's not as if dying men are prone to sexual temptation.
              Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

              Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
              sigpic
              I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by One Bad Pig View Post
                David had several wives; Bathsheba was merely the latest (recorded). Given succession struggles between sons of different wives, it's probably politics that kept Bathsheba from that role. A young woman brought in just to keep him warm wouldn't cause that problem. As Sparko said, why not have a pretty woman do the job?
                Because he was cold.


                Originally posted by One Bad Pig
                It's not as if dying men are prone to sexual temptation.
                If he was dying, there’d have been an urgency. It specified no shenanigans were involved, which needn’t be said if he couldn’t perform sexually.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by whag View Post
                  Because he was cold.
                  A pretty woman warms the cockles of any redblooded American Hebrew man's heart!
                  The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by whag View Post
                    When King David needed warmth in his old age, why was a beautiful girl needed for the job? I understand why Bathsheba couldn’t do it, since she may have been too old to radiate enough heat and take care of his other needs. But why was it necessary to search for a beautiful woman when an average-looking girl was sufficient for the job?

                    The passage specifies that there was nothing sexual about it, so outward appearance presumably wouldn’t matter and would also reduce the chances of his being tempted by a hot beauty pressing against his flesh.
                    Maybe Bathsheba looked like Hillary. After all, it worked for Bill Clinton.
                    When I Survey....

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Faber View Post
                      Maybe Bathsheba looked like Hillary. After all, it worked for Bill Clinton.
                      Obviously not in her younger days.

                      This is why the Good Lord allows men's eyesight to get worse with age, then somebody had to invent glasses!
                      The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
                        A pretty woman warms the cockles of any redblooded American Hebrew man's heart!
                        If I were king, I’d spoon with an average-looking chick to make her feel special. I also have less-than-monarchical standards since I’m no looker myself. I look like Walter Matthau and Margeret Thatcher had a baby whose DNA was spliced with Ellen Degeneres.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by whag View Post
                          Because he was cold.
                          Yes, that's why she was brought in.
                          If he was dying, there’d have been an urgency.
                          Why? He already had several children. More children would just further muck up succession issues.
                          It specified no shenanigans were involved, which needn’t be said if he couldn’t perform sexually.
                          It needed to be said so the woman could subsequently marry, honor intact. Whether or not he could would have been irrelevant.
                          Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

                          Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
                          sigpic
                          I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by One Bad Pig View Post
                            Yes, that's why she was brought in.

                            Why? He already had several children. More children would just further muck up succession issues.
                            If I’m cold and dying, I’ll take any warm woman. Perhaps this was a mistake of the servants who conducted a longer-than-necessary search for a supermodel when all the old man needed was a warm body to spoon with.

                            Originally posted by One Bad Pig
                            It needed to be said so the woman could subsequently marry, honor intact. Whether or not he could would have been irrelevant.
                            Kind David was highly respected, and she’d have returned still a virgin. Was that announcement that no shenanigans occured immediately circulated through the kingdom? How was the news distributed?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by whag View Post
                              If I’m cold and dying, I’ll take any warm woman. Perhaps this was a mistake of the servants who conducted a longer-than-necessary search for a supermodel when all the old man needed was a warm body to spoon with.
                              Now you're going overboard on your speculations. Don't go changin', whag.
                              Kind David was highly respected, and she’d have returned still a virgin. Was that announcement that no shenanigans occured immediately circulated through the kingdom? How was the news distributed?
                              It was probably negotiated beforehand, and the only people who needed to know were her family and any prospective matchmakers, who could be told when they approached.
                              Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

                              Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
                              sigpic
                              I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

                              Comment

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