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Thread: A Beauty for Old King David

  1. #11
    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faber View Post
    Maybe Bathsheba looked like Hillary. After all, it worked for Bill Clinton.
    Obviously not in her younger days.

    This is why the Good Lord allows men's eyesight to get worse with age, then somebody had to invent glasses!

    1 Tim 2:5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus.

  2. Amen whag amen'd this post.
  3. #12
    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cow Poke View Post
    A pretty woman warms the cockles of any redblooded American Hebrew man's heart!
    If I were king, I’d spoon with an average-looking chick to make her feel special. I also have less-than-monarchical standards since I’m no looker myself. I look like Walter Matthau and Margeret Thatcher had a baby whose DNA was spliced with Ellen Degeneres.

  4. #13
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    Because he was cold.
    Yes, that's why she was brought in.
    If he was dying, there’d have been an urgency.
    Why? He already had several children. More children would just further muck up succession issues.
    It specified no shenanigans were involved, which needn’t be said if he couldn’t perform sexually.
    It needed to be said so the woman could subsequently marry, honor intact. Whether or not he could would have been irrelevant.
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

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  5. #14
    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    Yes, that's why she was brought in.

    Why? He already had several children. More children would just further muck up succession issues.
    If I’m cold and dying, I’ll take any warm woman. Perhaps this was a mistake of the servants who conducted a longer-than-necessary search for a supermodel when all the old man needed was a warm body to spoon with.

    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig
    It needed to be said so the woman could subsequently marry, honor intact. Whether or not he could would have been irrelevant.
    Kind David was highly respected, and she’d have returned still a virgin. Was that announcement that no shenanigans occured immediately circulated through the kingdom? How was the news distributed?

  6. #15
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    If I’m cold and dying, I’ll take any warm woman. Perhaps this was a mistake of the servants who conducted a longer-than-necessary search for a supermodel when all the old man needed was a warm body to spoon with.
    Now you're going overboard on your speculations. Don't go changin', whag.
    Kind David was highly respected, and she’d have returned still a virgin. Was that announcement that no shenanigans occured immediately circulated through the kingdom? How was the news distributed?
    It was probably negotiated beforehand, and the only people who needed to know were her family and any prospective matchmakers, who could be told when they approached.
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

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  7. Amen whag amen'd this post.
  8. #16
    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    Now you're going overboard on your speculations. Don't go changin', whag.

    It was probably negotiated beforehand, and the only people who needed to know were her family and any prospective matchmakers, who could be told when they approached.
    Sorry about the Amen. That was an accident.

    You make it sound as if she would be available for marriage to another after this warming temporary duty. It appears later that Abishag became David’s wife or at least a concubine, since his son Adonijah wanted her as his wife as a way to assume the throne (which he was later executed for by Solomon). That changes things. There’d be no need to say David didn’t have sex with her if she was to later become his concubine AND she was too young to have sex with.

  9. #17
    Professor KingsGambit's Avatar
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    Even if he did, what would really be the import? David is not exactly presented as a consistent paragon of moral virtue.
    I want something good to die for to make it beautiful to live.

  10. Amen Rushing Jaws amen'd this post.
  11. #18
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    Sorry about the Amen. That was an accident.

    You make it sound as if she would be available for marriage to another after this warming temporary duty. It appears later that Abishag became David’s wife or at least a concubine, since his son Adonijah wanted her as his wife as a way to assume the throne (which he was later executed for by Solomon). That changes things. There’d be no need to say David didn’t have sex with her if she was to later become his concubine AND she was too young to have sex with.
    Adonijah did not need her as his wife to angle for the throne. However, because of her association with David, marrying her would have bolstered his status in the eyes of the nation. There was no need for sex to have occurred. I have no idea where you got the idea that she was too young.
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. – St. John Chrysostom

    Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio

    I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist

  12. #19
    tWebber whag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    Adonijah did not need her as his wife to angle for the throne. However, because of her association with David, marrying her would have bolstered his status in the eyes of the nation.
    I thought that Solomon’s rage about the request indicates more than that

    “Now therefore, as the Lord liveth, which hath established me, and set me on the throne of David my father, and who hath made me an house, as he promised, Adonijah shall be put to death this day.” 1 Kings 2:24

    That was immediately following Bathsheba’s request.

    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig
    There was no need for sex to have occurred. I have no idea where you got the idea that she was too young.
    Maybe David didn’t have sex with her because she was too young at the time. It seems more plausible that she had a bigger role as a concubine later. If she was just a glorified heating pad, why would Adonijah think such an acquisition would do anything for him? He was of royal lineage. Wouldn’t he already have status and influence enough? Solomon’s act seems rash to slay a man for asking to marry an insignificant virgin servant.

  13. #20
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whag View Post
    I think I’d bring him the first warm woman I could find since he was cold. Would I bring an elephant woman? Probably not, but I’m pretty sure 7s and 8s were plentiful.

    I posed the question because it’s a theocracy rather than a run-of-the-mill monarchy wherein a servant could be killed for bringing anything less than a supermodel.
    how do you know what "beautiful" meant to them? Maybe beautiful meant plump? A fat girl would keep him warmer than a skinny one. There is no way to know for sure, but it does seem like an odd thing to fixate on for a thread.

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