A Beauty for Old King David

[whag]

Ya know, not for nothing, but when a fat person gets cold, it's the fat that's really cold. Muscle is much warmerer.

If Jews weren't so opposed to dogs, King David could have had a Three Dog Night!

No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.

[Rushing Jaws]

Get a heating blanket, you perv.

Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.

[Cow Poke]

No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.

King David need a bed warmer because One is the loneliest number that could ever be.

[Faber]

They could have used a gentile female and brought Goy to the World. (And Goy to the fishes in the deep blue sea.)

[Raphael]

Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.

......you better not be wanting to microwave the cat......

[LostSheep]

King David need a bed warmer because One is the loneliest number that could ever be.

[Cerebrum123]

Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.

If only they had microwaves in the ANE, then we wouldn't be having this conversation.

[Adrift]

In case anyone is interested in the answer that scholars have on the subject, plenty suggest that Abishag was intended as a concubine for the aging David who seemed to lack his old charisma and vitality. David's servants were hoping that introducing a hot young thing would get his blood running again, but the fact that he didn't have sex with her demonstrates that he either just wasn't interested and/or impotent (both sexually, and influtentially). whag's point that David ruled in a theocracy rather than a run-of-the-mill monarchy doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. Every kingdom in this era was a theocracy, and as King's Gambit points out, David is never pictured positively by the Bible's authors for his sexual virtue. It was his great weakness, and it's what ultimately undid much of the good he attempted to accomplish.

[Mountain Man]

Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.

Cats generally object to being put in microwaves.

[TheWall]

No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.

Jeremiah was a bullfrog.

[Cow Poke]

Cats generally object to being put in microwaves.

...and getting baptized.