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A Beauty for Old King David

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  • #31
    Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
    Ya know, not for nothing, but when a fat person gets cold, it's the fat that's really cold. Muscle is much warmerer.

    If Jews weren't so opposed to dogs, King David could have had a Three Dog Night!
    No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.

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    • #32
      Originally posted by whag View Post
      Get a heating blanket, you perv.
      Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.

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      • #33
        Originally posted by whag View Post
        No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.
        King David need a bed warmer because One is the loneliest number that could ever be.
        The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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        • #34
          They could have used a gentile female and brought Goy to the World. (And Goy to the fishes in the deep blue sea.)
          When I Survey....

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          • #35
            Originally posted by Rushing Jaws View Post
            Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.
            ......you better not be wanting to microwave the cat......
            Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.
            1 Corinthians 16:13

            "...he [Doherty] is no historian and he is not even conversant with the historical discussions of the very matters he wants to pontificate on."
            -Ben Witherington III

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            • #36
              Originally posted by Cow Poke View Post
              King David need a bed warmer because One is the loneliest number that could ever be.
              It’s right there in Black and White in the text (“the ink is black”) on the white paper (“the page is white”) in Scripture.
              3 For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received: that Christ died for our sins in accordance with the Scriptures, 4 that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day in accordance with the Scriptures --1 Corinthians 15:3-4 (borrowed with gratitude from 37818's sig)

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              • #37
                Originally posted by Rushing Jaws View Post
                Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.
                If only they had microwaves in the ANE, then we wouldn't be having this conversation.

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                • #38
                  Originally posted by Sparko View Post
                  1 Kings 1 When King David was very old, he could not keep warm even when they put covers over him. 2 So his attendants said to him, “Let us look for a young virgin to serve the king and take care of him. She can lie beside him so that our lord the king may keep warm.”

                  3 Then they searched throughout Israel for a beautiful young woman and found Abishag, a Shunammite, and brought her to the king. 4 The woman was very beautiful; she took care of the king and waited on him, but the king had no sexual relations with her.
                  -------------

                  If you are a servant and want to make your King happy why would you bring him an ugly girl rather than a pretty one? Even an old man with no interest in sex can appreciate beauty.
                  In case anyone is interested in the answer that scholars have on the subject, plenty suggest that Abishag was intended as a concubine for the aging David who seemed to lack his old charisma and vitality. David's servants were hoping that introducing a hot young thing would get his blood running again, but the fact that he didn't have sex with her demonstrates that he either just wasn't interested and/or impotent (both sexually, and influtentially). whag's point that David ruled in a theocracy rather than a run-of-the-mill monarchy doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. Every kingdom in this era was a theocracy, and as King's Gambit points out, David is never pictured positively by the Bible's authors for his sexual virtue. It was his great weakness, and it's what ultimately undid much of the good he attempted to accomplish.

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                  • #39
                    Originally posted by Rushing Jaws View Post
                    Better still, get a cat. Or a bean-bag. Or a bean-bag in the shape of a cat. Heat in microwave on HIGH for 60 seconds. Put in bed. Go to bed when bed fully warmed.
                    Cats generally object to being put in microwaves.
                    Some may call me foolish, and some may call me odd
                    But I'd rather be a fool in the eyes of man
                    Than a fool in the eyes of God


                    From "Fools Gold" by Petra

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                    • #40
                      Originally posted by whag View Post
                      No one younger than 100 will understand that reference, Methuselah.
                      Jeremiah was a bullfrog.
                      sigpic

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                      • #41
                        Originally posted by Mountain Man View Post
                        Cats generally object to being put in microwaves.
                        ...and getting baptized.
                        The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross-examines him.

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