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Thread: Two Daughters - Two Stories - and Maybe a Prodigal

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Two Daughters - Two Stories - and Maybe a Prodigal

    My wife and I have often said "how can two people with the same parents, the same rules, the same background end up so polar opposite?

    The oldest (in her 40's) left home when she was 17, got pregnant, shacked up with a low-life, dabbled in alcohol (minor in possession) and has always seemed to subscribe to the philosophy "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today".
    The youngest (4 years younger almost to the day) has been a good kid, a Christ follower, conservative, dependable, trustworthy, and has always seemed to subscribe to "what can I do to earn money to...."

    I swear there were times the eldest of the two (let's call her George) stayed awake all night thinking "what can I do to make Dad really REALLY mad".
    The youngest (we'll call her Jay) seemed determined to "be somebody", and was a great student (home schooled through high school, then straight to college and several degrees) and is now a hospice nurse.

    George was always in debt, always in trouble, always managed to connect with "the wrong people", always a challenge, always needing money, went through three marriages, over the last few years has dabbled in drugs.

    All this time, I've kept two things in mind....
    A) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old....
    2) The prodigal son didn't come back home until "he came to himself".

    We have been praying for George to "come to herself".

    I became aware that George had really hit bottom - she and her current husband were both unemployed (he lost his job because he popped positive on a drug test), their water has been turned off, his truck got repo'd, she did a "title loan" on her car, couldn't pay it, and lost her car, her husband had become verbally abusive, their cell phones got turned off... no jobs, no vehicles, no phones.... (How does a person like that even GET a job if they wanted to?)

    In all of this, George's daughter (my granddaughter, successful young woman working toward her pharmacy license at Walgreens) took in her little brother (13) because the home situation had become so deplorable, and the younger sister moved in with my other daughter (her aunt)...

    While I have helped George in the past with groceries, electric bill, and stuff like that BECAUSE OF THE KIDS... she was no longer taking care of her kids, so I cut off all assistance. (In all honesty, I'm aware I had been enabling her bahavior, but it's so hard NOT helping when the two kids were living with her in that ... "heckhole".

    About two months ago, I reached out to her and asked her how much further she had to fall before she woke up. She got angry, obviously in denial, and accused me of accusing her of stuff she's not doing. She "wasn't doing drugs" and she "wasn't hanging with dopers" and she "didn't have any blue warrants for her arrest".... she just needed a loan to get caught up on bills. I told her the bank was closed. (that was tough)

    About 3 weeks ago, she called and asked if she could come spend a couple days at my house, do some laundry, and visit with her kids. That had always been an offer on the table, so I went and got her (about 60 miles away).

    After the first night, she told me she wanted to get her life straight, and asked if I would take her to the hospital (a treatment center for mostly indigent people trying to recover from drugs and stuff) where she had been "in patient" for 2 or 3 other times. She was self-medicating for bi-polar (self-diagnosed) and was on some prescription drugs for that.

    I could see she really needed help, so I drove her to that hospital, but after about three hours in the waiting room (there was a full moon and all the psychos were out) they told us they didn't have a bed for us, and referred her to another hospital down the road.

    THAT is where things started to change. The hospital they diverted her to was a "real" hospital that had actual paying patients, accepted insurance, and was a whole different "class of joint". Because she was referred by the other hospital, it didn't matter that she didn't have insurance or money - they took her in.

    After a few days, I went back to visit her, and her attitude was SO DIFFERENT! She said, "Dad, they're treating me like a human being, and they're not just 'adjusting my meds' - they're actually making me go to group discussions 5 times a day and helping me get to the root of my problem, and one of the nurses has really taken to me and is praying with me!"

    Here's an absolutely amazing thing..... Her CHARGE NURSE - the one who was praying with her and encouraging her, was a young Nigerian woman I had won to the Lord at my Church, and she and her husband were attending my Church faithfully, until they moved away closer to Houston. Her charge nurse (nickname Beto) had no idea George was my daughter, and was quite pleasantly surprised to see me.

    Normally, George would spend 3 days in the hospital, get her meds adjusted, get a much of prescriptions, and go back to the same old environment that got her in this kind of mess.

    This time, on my second visit, George said, "Dad, my psychiatrist would like me to stay another couple days, she thinks I'm making progress, and I'm off most of the prescription drugs the other hospital had me on, and I can actually think!"

    She ended up staying almost 2 weeks, and I could see her becoming more cogent and clear, and she asked, "when I get released, can I stay at your house for a while, because they don't think I need to go back to my old friends and my old neighborhood and my old connections...."

    So, it's been a little over two weeks with her at my house - she's been attending Church, she found an AN support group to attend, she's functioning like a human.... and the other day I had about a 3 hour talk with her where - for the first time - she actually opened up about her past, her bad decisions, and seems to be becoming "more human" every day.

    I am CAUTIOUSLY optimistic - I've seen her "turn around" before, as a ploy to get me to loan her money or get her a car, or help her with something..... this time honestly feels different.

    It is entirely possible that
    A) Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old.... has come true
    2) The prodigal son didn't come back home until "he came to himself".... she has "come to herself".

    We're taking it a day at a time - "you didn't get this way overnight - it's not gonna get fixed overnight".
    Every problem is the result of a previous solution.

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    Professor and Chaplain Littlejoe's Avatar
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    That's AWESOME CP. I pray she continues on the road to recovery.

    Don't let any "bumps" in that road dissuade you or her of keeping her on that road. Trust me, there's a test coming...sooner or later. How she comes through that test will show if she's REALLY serious. Even if she staggers a little and falls, does she get back up and continue...It's a hard row to hoe, you can help, but SHE has to do the work.

    I struggle with the enabling myself with my sons...I'm working on it though...
    "What has the Church gained if it is popular, but there is no conviction, no repentance, no power?" - A.W. Tozer

    "... there are two parties in Washington, the stupid party and the evil party, who occasionally get together and do something both stupid and evil, and this is called bipartisanship." - Everett Dirksen

  3. Amen Cow Poke, rogue06, DesertBerean amen'd this post.
  4. #3
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Praying things go well for "George"

    Just try to keep her away from her old life. What about her husband? Where is he in the picture? It will be pretty easy for him to "corrupt" her again.

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post
    Praying things go well for "George"
    Thanks!

    Just try to keep her away from her old life.
    At this point, we agreed she'll stay with us through Thanksgiving, and we'll look at the situation then. I had told her she can't stay with us forever, and I needed to "see some progress".... she said her psychiatrist told her it would take 90 days for her new meds to balance, and they'll be evaluating them along the way, so 90 days is "Thanksgiving".

    Her goal is to clear up some of her mess, a couple of warrants, get a job, and get a place to live in our town.

    What about her husband? Where is he in the picture? It will be pretty easy for him to "corrupt" her again.
    He's a "tattoo artist" - that's where she met him when she was still married to her second husband - and they've been together for 10 years. Steve is one of those guys who thinks he's gonna get rich doing tattoos, and can't seem to hold down a real job. He's actually quite an artist, and he has been good to the kids as a 'father', but has no ambition, and has always been in the trap of spending "tattoo money" on stuff before he did the tattoo, and often those 'clients' will cancel at the last minute. Money already spent, no income.

    He blames George for all their failings - she had a $60,000 job when they met, he talked her into quitting that, and building his tattoo business, now he blames her for not bringing in the money. I think he can be redeemed, but he needs to fix himself.

    George has always managed to find "projects" - guys who need fixing, and they always drag her down.

    At this point, she still communicates with him on facebook, but she's making it clear "I need to work on me - you need to work on you - and you need to grow up and get a real job and start acting like an adult".

    We shall see!
    Every problem is the result of a previous solution.

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    Evolution is God's ID rogue06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Littlejoe View Post
    That's AWESOME CP. I pray she continues on the road to recovery.

    Don't let any "bumps" in that road dissuade you or her of keeping her on that road. Trust me, there's a test coming...sooner or later. How she comes through that test will show if she's REALLY serious. Even if she staggers a little and falls, does she get back up and continue...It's a hard row to hoe, you can help, but SHE has to do the work.
    That ^^^

    Praying that she's seen the light.

    I'm always still in trouble again

    "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" -- starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rogue06 View Post
    That ^^^

    Praying that she's seen the light.
    She has a court appearance on Friday, so we spent about 4 hours of windshield time going to her old stomping grounds to gather paperwork -- she's really seeming more like an adult than any time I've ever dealt with her in the past.

    (She had been renting-to-own the house they lived in, and discovered a few years ago that the guy who was the 'landlord" didn't even own the property. She discovered who the actual owners were, and they deeded the property to her directly. Now the phony landlord is suing for adverse possession or something. It never ends )
    Every problem is the result of a previous solution.

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    MORE Progress....

    Not only has she seemed more cogent and "with it", she is really becoming a human being.

    Today was court.

    At stakes -- she had been "renting to own" some property, and about a year into the contract, she began to suspect that the people who "sold" her the property didn't really own it, and were fraudulently offering it for sale.

    Over a period of the next 6 months, she sent 3 certified - return receipt requested - letters of demand for proof of ownership under Texas Property Law. They had never given her her copy of the lease/purchase agreement, and when they finally came up with one, the "seller" listed in the document was a relative who was not involved in the negotiations at all.

    This has been dragging on in the courts for 2 years, causing her great angst, as she stopped paying money pending proof of ownership. In one conversation with the "owner", when George insisted she needed to see proof of ownership (verbally), she was told by the owner "go look it up!" George did. And she discovered that deed was actually issued to a Mexican woman who had also been in the "lease/purchase" trap, but finally borrowed enough money to pay the property off and get the deed in her name.

    George knew this woman (small town) and went to talk to her. The woman (let's call her Mike) told George that the 'fake owners' had caused them so much grief that her husband got physically ill from constant harassment and annoyance that he died of a heart attack. She was so angry that these people were pulling the same thing on George that Mike told George "meet me at the courthouse tomorrow after lunch"!

    Mike, in front of the bureau of records personnel, and with a notary at the ready, signed over the deed directly to George, and had it filed with the County Records Division.

    Having ignored previous demands for proof of ownership, the 'fake owners' (let's call them 'fake owners') got livid and filed eviction papers on George and her household. She had to go to court where the judge threw the case out, because the 'fake owners' couldn't even prove they owned the property.

    Then the 'fake owners' filed a law suit against George for "adverse possession", which, basically accuses her of absconding with the property under false pretenses (how else would somebody abscond?) and that the 'fake owners' were, indeed, the REAL owners.

    George had done tons of research, had a title search, researched property law, and was going to represent herself in court.

    The 'fake owners' had a $5,000 attorney.

    George assumed (wrongly) that she would be able to make her case in court, but she was blown away that the ONLY way she could make her case was by asking QUESTIONS of witnesses. She was prepared to lay out a whole timeline of fraud and lies and misdeeds, but was stuck in "court procedure" mode.

    Fortunately, the prosecution put on some of the family as witnesses, and they were dopeheads and methdopes. They couldn't properly answer questions, and sometimes accidentally answered truthfully, to their detriment. I could see by the frustration on the lawyer's face that they were NOT giving the answers he obviously coached them to give, but were stumbling around, unable to answer some key questions, and giving the "wrong' answers.

    I was sitting there in the courtroom praying, "Lord, PLEASE give her a victory, because this would destroy her, and she has worked so hard on cleaning herself up and documenting the truth...."

    It looked really dicey for a while, because George was blown away by the "I can't tell my story" aspect, and was having a very hard time comping up with questions that would help tell her story. She did, however, in cross-examination, ask - for example - "so, when you entered into this contract with me, did you know for certain that you actually held title to the property?" There was no way they could answer yes, because they only came up with "their" copy after they got thrown out of court in the eviction case. The 'fake owner' stammered and stuttered, and finally had to be ordered by the Judge to "answer the question, and stop rambling". The answer, obviously, was no....

    I was getting concerned, because George, freshly off her meds and just becoming human again, was getting nervous and looked like she was battling a panic attack. She paused for long periods of time staring at her documents, then coming up with another question.

    The judge, however, was a woman who was VERY patient, and that made things much easier for George. Finally, George asked for a brief recess, because the 'fake owners" lawyer had handed her a whole bunch of "exhibits" just before court started, and George hadn't even had a chance to read through them.

    During the recess, I was able to get George calmed down, and give her some pointers on how to get back in the game. That worked wonderfully well.

    The 'fake owners" lawyer pulled all kinds of legal nonsense, threw all kinds of legal terms around (he even confused his own witnesses) tried his best to intimidate George, but was making himself more and more a "horses butt".

    In summary, the lawyer explained he was paid $5000, and would be willing, because he's such a wonderful guy, to draw up a new contract, George could start all over and buy the property for $45,000 at 8% interest, blah blah blah, and pay attorney's fees.

    When all was said and done, the judge very calmly and quietly explained, "the plaintiffs have offered as parties to this case, persons who in truth, are strangers to this case, with no legal interest in it whatsoever. While there's a cloud over the deed, there is nothing the plaintiffs have presented beyond "we had a verbal agreement" (outside the contract) and the property was, prior to George obtaining it, owned by Mike, as the county property records attest. If anybody has "standing" to argue the ownership of this case, it would be Mike, and she's not here, so the case for "adverse possession" is not happening.

    SHE WON!!!! I kept waiting for the Judge to say, "however....." but she didn't, she said THEREFORE, I am recognizing George's deed as proper and legal and I am removing the cloud of doubt over that issue. The property belongs to George who has faithfully and diligently documented her attempts to resolve this issue, discovered the true owner of the property, and by God's grace, that person GAVE the property to George".

    At this point, George was sitting there digging her fingernails into her husband's arm, also waiting for "but...." --- nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs....

    Then the judges said, "George, the property is yours free and clear, I would advise you to obtain legal counsel to write up a judgment for the court due in two weeks". The judge hinted that George could recoup all $23,000 she had paid on this fraudulent deal, and in Texas, there is the possible of treble damages -- THREE TIMES the award. We'll see.

    It won't be hard at all getting an attorney to write up the judgment that George has ALREADY WON.

    Their plan is to sell the property and get the heck out of dopeville!!!!

    PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!! This is a HUGE boost to George's self-worth... a frail little 4'10" girl whooped up on a $5000 attorney, beating him and his fake clients with truth, justice and the American way!!!!


    ETA: Oh, and the judge, in announcing her decision, used the words "fraud" and "fraudulent" numerous times!!!
    Every problem is the result of a previous solution.

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    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Wow so she got the property free and clear. That is awesome. Maybe after they sell it they could give a little back to Mike for being so generous.


    I feel bad for Mike. Her husband died because of these scammers.

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    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post


    Wow so she got the property free and clear. That is awesome. Maybe after they sell it they could give a little back to Mike for being so generous.


    I feel bad for Mike. Her husband died because of these scammers.
    Yes sir. The original 'fake owner' died right after the eviction case was denied, and Mike's husband died shortly after that. But Mike said, "it will be good for me just to know these $#!^! are stopped!"

    Something funny... George had done background checks on them, along with on herself and her husband, and had a file showing their repeated fraud and abuse. She tried entering it into evidence, and the Judge told her to show it to the plantiff's attorney first... he looked at the first page -- a SUMMARY of the fraud and criminal history, including ORGANIZED CRIME and racketeering, and he strenuously objected (a little too strenuously ) which made the judge wonder what's in it. She said, "hand it to me"...

    She skimmed the first page, then flipped a few pages into it, and said, "I sustain the objection - it has no bearing on this case". But she SAW it!!!! Kinda like "the jury will disregard discovering that these people are CRIMINALS....." The judge had to have had that in her mind when she said, in her summary, "fraud" and "fraudulent".
    Every problem is the result of a previous solution.

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    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cow Poke View Post
    Yes sir. The original 'fake owner' died right after the eviction case was denied, and Mike's husband died shortly after that. But Mike said, "it will be good for me just to know these $#!^! are stopped!"

    Something funny... George had done background checks on them, along with on herself and her husband, and had a file showing their repeated fraud and abuse. She tried entering it into evidence, and the Judge told her to show it to the plantiff's attorney first... he looked at the first page -- a SUMMARY of the fraud and criminal history, including ORGANIZED CRIME and racketeering, and he strenuously objected (a little too strenuously ) which made the judge wonder what's in it. She said, "hand it to me"...

    She skimmed the first page, then flipped a few pages into it, and said, "I sustain the objection - it has no bearing on this case". But she SAW it!!!! Kinda like "the jury will disregard discovering that these people are CRIMINALS....." The judge had to have had that in her mind when she said, in her summary, "fraud" and "fraudulent".
    yep.

    So exactly who owned the house to begin with when Mike got it? and was that who was trying to scam George? It's still confusing.

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