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Thread: Wow! No More Criminals!

  1. #11
    Evolution is God's ID rogue06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    "Crime" is a pejorative term. They need to come up with something more innocuous.
    I like "legally challenged" so it sounds like it isn't their fault

    I'm always still in trouble again

    "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" -- starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)

  2. Amen DesertBerean amen'd this post.
  3. #12
    Evolution is God's ID rogue06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mountain Man View Post
    Nonsense like this is going to put the Babylon Bee out of business.


    As society becomes increasingly ridiculous it becomes harder to satirize

    I'm always still in trouble again

    "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" -- starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)

  4. Amen DesertBerean, Raphael amen'd this post.
  5. #13
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    "Free range persons"

  6. #14
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Crime = Societal Faux Pas.

  7. #15
    tWebber seer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sparko View Post
    What are they going to call their homeless? "Asphalt Involved Persons?"
    Stop giving them ideas!
    Atheism is the cult of death, the death of hope. The universe is doomed, you are doomed, the only thing that remains is to await your execution...

  8. #16
    Troll Magnet Sparko's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by seer View Post
    Stop giving them ideas!
    OBP's "Free Range People" wins that round.

  9. #17
    tWebber Teallaura's Avatar
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    911: 911, what is your emergency?

    Caller: Um, yes <loud noise heard in background> would you please send a police officer to nicely ask the legally challenged person <loud bang> who is firing, oops, sorry, discharging an explosive accelerant device into my front door <loud bang> to please desist and seek other accommodations?

    911: Do you need a Adult Intervention Officer or a Aged Challenged Intervention Officer?

    Caller: Um, I think Adult.

    911: Are you sure?

    Caller: <crashing noise in background> Well, he started discharging the device so I didn't see him very well... <loud bang>

    911: Well, we can't send anyone without knowing what age appropriate officer to send. We also need to know the preferred gender of the law involved individual.

    Caller: <screams> <loud bang> <indistinct noises>

    911: Person?

    Caller: (Different voice) Hey, can I get a large pizza with sausage?

    911: Oh, certainly Sir, Ma'am or other. Would you like extra cheese?

  10. Amen seer, mossrose amen'd this post.
  11. #18
    Evolution is God's ID rogue06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teallaura View Post
    911: 911, what is your emergency?

    Caller: Um, yes <loud noise heard in background> would you please send a police officer to nicely ask the legally challenged person <loud bang> who is firing, oops, sorry, discharging an explosive accelerant device into my front door <loud bang> to please desist and seek other accommodations?

    911: Do you need a Adult Intervention Officer or a Aged Challenged Intervention Officer?

    Caller: Um, I think Adult.

    911: Are you sure?

    Caller: <crashing noise in background> Well, he started discharging the device so I didn't see him very well... <loud bang>

    911: Well, we can't send anyone without knowing what age appropriate officer to send. We also need to know the preferred gender of the law involved individual.

    Caller: <screams> <loud bang> <indistinct noises>

    911: Person?

    Caller: (Different voice) Hey, can I get a large pizza with sausage?

    911: Oh, certainly Sir, Ma'am or other. Would you like extra cheese?
    I hope I don't offend you but I cannot condone the consumption of meat products but could I interest you in an abortion?
    FIFY n/c

    I'm always still in trouble again

    "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" -- starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)

  12. Amen mossrose, Teallaura, Cow Poke, DesertBerean amen'd this post.
  13. #19
    tWebber Christianbookworm's Avatar
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    How about naughty persons that just made a mistake?
    If it weren't for the Resurrection of Jesus, we'd all be in DEEP TROUBLE!

  14. #20
    Evolution is God's ID rogue06's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christianbookworm View Post
    How about naughty persons that just made a mistake?
    "Naughty" sounds awfully judgmental.

    I'm always still in trouble again

    "You're by far the worst poster on TWeb" and "TWeb's biggest liar" -- starlight (the guy who says Stalin was a right-winger)

  15. Amen Teallaura, Cerebrum123, DesertBerean, Raphael amen'd this post.

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