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I dunno that there's a whole lot of choice involved with falling in love - though our words and actions can enhance or impede the love of others toward us. My wife and I are committed to putting the other first, which helps to cement our love for each other. My love is certainly stronger now than when we got married, despite the fact that we're still working to improve our communication.Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
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I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist
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Originally posted by Apologiaphoenix View PostWhat we often think of as love is more often limerence. The best work on this is Love and Limerence by Tennov. She's the foundational researcher on it. Love though is not dependent on the emotions and is a constant choice.Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
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I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist
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I think this is one of those instances where the english language cannot fully convey things. It's been a while since I read The Four Loves, but your post reminds me of that.
Agape is the love that Christians are called to have and that God helps us with. Agape is kind of hard to describe. It is desiring the best for another for their sake.
As for affection and romantic stuff I see it as both emotion and and act of will. You may for example love your wife dearly, but you have to actively participate in showing that in ways she can understand.
Just my two cents.sigpic
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Disagree entirely OBP. I think love can result in emotions, but it is not one. You can have love for your step-daughter even on a day where she's misbehaving very much and you're angry with her. A mother may not feel a lot of love for her infant when he wakes her up crying during the night, but she will still do the loving thing.
Of course, limerence is a made-up term. She wanted to differentiate it from love. Limerence can result in love, but often it is not really going to be the lasting love unless there's a good foundation laid that does not depend on the emotions.
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Originally posted by Apologiaphoenix View PostDisagree entirely OBP. I think love can result in emotions, but it is not one. You can have love for your step-daughter even on a day where she's misbehaving very much and you're angry with her. A mother may not feel a lot of love for her infant when he wakes her up crying during the night, but she will still do the loving thing.
Of course, limerence is a made-up term. She wanted to differentiate it from love. Limerence can result in love, but often it is not really going to be the lasting love unless there's a good foundation laid that does not depend on the emotions.sigpic
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Originally posted by Apologiaphoenix View Post
Of course, limerence is a made-up term. She wanted to differentiate it from love. Limerence can result in love, but often it is not really going to be the lasting love unless there's a good foundation laid that does not depend on the emotions."I am not angered that the Moral Majority boys campaign against abortion. I am angry when the same men who say, "Save OUR children" bellow "Build more and bigger bombers." That's right! Blast the children in other nations into eternity, or limbless misery as they lay crippled from "OUR" bombers! This does not jell." - Leonard Ravenhill
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Originally posted by Apologiaphoenix View PostDisagree entirely OBP. I think love can result in emotions, but it is not one. You can have love for your step-daughter even on a day where she's misbehaving very much and you're angry with her. A mother may not feel a lot of love for her infant when he wakes her up crying during the night, but she will still do the loving thing.
Of course, limerence is a made-up term. She wanted to differentiate it from love. Limerence can result in love, but often it is not really going to be the lasting love unless there's a good foundation laid that does not depend on the emotions.Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
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I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist
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Originally posted by One Bad Pig View PostYou appear to be treating love as some sort of steady force of something. That I might have temporary feelings of anger or irritation does not mean that love itself is not a feeling. I tolerate her misbehavior because my love is greater than my anger. I may deliberately recollect my love for her in order to temper my response, but my choice is to recall my love, which is already firmly established (not by choice). I would like to love my other three stepchildren, but the feelings just aren't there (yet).
Differentiation is fine, and I understand the distinction she's drawing. Declaring that love is not an emotion is not fine.
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Originally posted by Apologiaphoenix View PostSteady force? No. Steady choice? Absolutely. Every day is a choice to love or not love.
My feelings don't matter in it ultimately. If they come, great, but it's easy to love someone when you feel like it. When you don't is when true love exists.
How you treat your stepchildren is important. If you feel a certain way, great. If not, you still act in love.
Love can result in a powerful emotion, but it is not the emotion itself. The emotion fades, and really if it comes from limerence, thank God it fades. No one could function if it stayed that way.
Don't see emotion referenced there directly, however
I'll go with the dictionary, which is an authoritative source, over your assertion which is contrary to my experience. I also think I'll stick with the more familiar word "lust" to describe what lovers tend to initially feel.Veritas vos Liberabit<>< Learn Greek <>< Look here for an Orthodox Church in America<><Ancient Faith Radio
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I recommend you do not try too hard and ...research as little as possible. Such weighty things give me a headache. - Shunyadragon, Baha'i apologist
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Originally posted by One Bad Pig View PostWhat you're asserting is entirely foreign to my experience. I have never consciously chosen to love someone, yet I love many people. My wife did not choose to love me, either; in fact, she spent months trying to suppress her love for me before acknowledging it.
I agree that true love remains even when things get difficult.
I will respect them regardless of how I feel. Feelings of storgoi may come with time.
Don't see emotion referenced there directly, however
I'll go with the dictionary, which is an authoritative source, over your assertion which is contrary to my experience. I also think I'll stick with the more familiar word "lust" to describe what lovers tend to initially feel.
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