EGAD - Endtimes Generalized Anxiety Disorder - TheDoorMagazine

[Lostdog]

I see this place isn't immune to the wandering-topic syndrome either!

(Norm has a habit of doing that over at The Door Magazine Chat Closet...stop by and see us sometime! - The Door Magazine Shameless Plug Dep't)

It was The Door (then called The Wittenberg Door) that allowed me to see the lighter side of my faith. I stole a copy from my Youth Pastor and ordered my first mag at age 17...been subscribing ever since (there was a 3 year hiatus due to marriage and lack of fundage!)

Being one who was called a smart-ass by his own father, I knew I'd found a home in the Door. They were smart-asses too. So, take yourself a little less serious when you read it but open yourself up for what you may miss as you are laughing. Some of the articles are deadly serious beneath all the froo-frah.

Eric ;)

[ilkhani'tus]

Yes me too. I don't always agree, but I can live with that and it helps me to see the ridiculousness in some things I take too seriously even if I ultimately disagree on some level. There is a need and place for that. I laugh so much though when reading it I just knew we had to feature them. I have heard about TheDoor since even before I was a Christian.

This EGAD article really cracked me up even more so cause "egad!" is such a popular expression here.

I just renewed my subscription, and if anyone here has not checked them out, get a subscription and try them out. It is a humorous change of pace.

I'll give you this...this is the only christian board that I've heard of where the MODS themselves actually link to, and post articles from religious satire magazines!

Lord knows (pun not intended, and unavoidable, really) certain other boards I know of would NEVER do that!


<random comments deleted because I keep breaking my own rules about posting while drunk>

(Yes, that last was a joke!)

[kofh2u]

and they are just as certainly wrong as their forebears were on the promised Messiah.



Really? You trust them on this when they don't know enough to know that the Messiah has already came? Strange. And do you mean the "kingdom" that Daniel 2 states would come in the first century? That one? The one that Jesus says He came to bring? That one?

Are you just pulling our leg?

DD,
Hi....
No, I trust the Word.

That this particular sect of Jews, they represent politically, 25% of the population... in that they look forward to the coming of the messiah they are not wrong, true?

And, yes, I do mean that kingdom that Jesus brought in the 1st century and the one that is still here, today.

I also refer to the 1000 year reign of that kingdom under the theocracy Universal Catholicism:

Rev. 20:1 And I saw mentally, as it were, an angel, a psychic aspect to my thinking, come down from heaven of thoughts in my mind, having the key of social evolution for the bottomless pit of time and a great chain of social restraint was in his hand.

Rev. 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, the subtle cultural system of exploitive sexual mores, that old serpent, paganism, which is the Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan, and bound him, the dragon, throughout the 1000 years of the Dark Ages,

Rev. 20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit of time, and shut him up, inhibiting the sexual freedom and adolescent license, and set the seal of the Cross upon him, that he, the dragon of that subcultural should deceive the nations of Western Europe no more, till the Dark Age of one thousand years should be fulfilled: and after he, the dragon of paganism, must be reinstituted a little season of @500 years.

[Dee Dee Warren]

Where in the world are you getting that mangled text?

[$cirisme]

Good heavens that is a terrible translation.

[NSMinistries]

Okay I know my Bibles and I need to know the translation of that one.

[apple]

DD,
Rev. 20:2 And he laid hold on the dragon, the subtle cultural system of exploitive sexual mores, that old serpent, paganism, which is the Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan, and bound him, the dragon, throughout the 1000 years of the Dark Ages,

Rev. 20:3 And cast him into the bottomless pit of time, and shut him up, inhibiting the sexual freedom and adolescent license, and set the seal of the Cross upon him, that he, the dragon of that subcultural should deceive the nations of Western Europe no more, till the Dark Age of one thousand years should be fulfilled: and after he, the dragon of paganism, must be reinstituted a little season of @500 years.

The Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness of Satan? My goodness! Satan/the Devil is supposed to be the enemy of mankind. For 2,000 years, or should I say 3,000 years, mankind has been fighting against something known as Satan or the Devil. Billions of people worship a God hoping He will protect them from this monstrous being, this gargoyle. Satan/the Devil is the name we give the "thing" that is the destroyer of mankind and you say it is sex!?!? My goodness! Your post is screaming, "Therapy, my man, therapy." :-(

[Dave G]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.

[apple]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.

I have written to the publishers requesting a copy. Can't wait to check it out!

[kofh2u]

Not to speak for kof, but his translation is the Freudian bible translation.

Thankz for making the point.

As far as apple's comment , there is not attempt to deny nor negate either of the two archetpal members of man's sevenfold psyche.

He mistakes healthy Libido and sane Anima in our mind and manifest in collective social behaviors with the madness of EXCESS:

"The Devil of sexual license, and libidinal lustfulness.."

It is the Devil side of the feminine principle, the Anima, which aids in the whoredom in our economic and social life. It is the LICENSE that is wrong, not the psychic apparatus. The Libido is the psychic drive, hunger and taste and smell and all our carnal activity. Libido is not to be stifled nor eliminated. It is the gluttony of sexual extremism, lust, that needs regulation by Conscience and the reality ptinciple inherent in the Self.

Excess and license is what we are looking at here in these verse of Revelation.

Note:

Rev. 17:2 With whom (the political powers), the kings of the earth, have committed (themselves to a sexually misdirected economic system of) fornications, and the inhabitants of the earth have been made drunk with the wine of her (porno-sexually exploitation by) fornications.

Rev. 17:3 So he carried me away (in the spirit of thought), into the
wilderness (of my imagination) and I saw (as if) a woman, (those who have institutionalized a system of sexual seduction into a failed matrimony), sit upon a scarlet coloured beast (of a brazen and corrupt sexually misdirected economic system), full of names of (Pagan) blasphemy, having seven heads, (which existed in (1) Egypt, (2) Assyria, (3) Babylon, (4) Persia/Mede, (5) Greece, (6) Rome (7) the whole of Western Culture to follow) having ten horns upon these seven heads:
(1. Anarchy, 2. Lombard-Vandalism, 3. Papacy, 4. Charlemagne, 5. Holy
Roman Empire, 6. Italy, 7. Spain, 8. France, 9. Britain, 10. Nazi Germany).

Rev. 17:4 And the woman, (symbolizing those who have Institutionalized a system of sexual seduction into a failed matrimony), was arrayed in (recognizable hues of) purple and scarlet colour, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls (of her courtships and divorces), having a golden cup in her hand, (a sacramental place in the order of religion), full of abominations (of abortions, STD, even gay marriage), and the filthiness of her (sins of adolescence of her numerous) fornications (before choosing the victim of her marriage):

[Rayado]

Since when was Freud a theologian? And if memory serves me correctly, wasn't he kind of out to get rid of theism in general?

And DD & Cir are right, that is a legendarily bad translation. "Bad" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Loved the article, btw. I recently subscribed, and really enjoyed the March/April issue.

Loved DD's response to Weighman even more.

[kofh2u]

Since when was Freud a theologian? And if memory serves me correctly, wasn't he kind of out to get rid of theism in general?

And DD & Cir are right, that is a legendarily bad translation. "Bad" doesn't even begin to describe it.

Loved the article, btw. I recently subscribed, and really enjoyed the March/April issue.

Loved DD's response to Weighman even more.

I suspect Freud was a Jewish coward who may have understood more about theology than he wished to admit.

In 1920, church attendance in America was almost 100%, and there was not much more toleration for theological freedom of free speech than available around the time of the Inquisition. Of course, I exaggerate, to be sure.

But, to suggest the angels of scripture are mental constructs, either in our psyche or in the collective social behavior would have had consequences for that guy, in that day.

According to the date of the first edition of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation, Freud was long dead when it was written and published.

Nevertheless, the secular factual knowledge Freud and Carl Jung first brought to our modern attention is strangely, too strangely analogous to the seven spirits mentioned in Rev 1:4

Rev. 1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars (the sevenfold angels of the psyche: Id, Libido, Ego, Anima, Self, Harmony, Superego): and out of his mouth went a two-edged sword (cutting both secular and theological wisdom): and his countenance was as the sun (of rationality) shineth in his strength (of factual knowledge).

[Dee Dee Warren]

:looney:

[Rayado]

I suspect Freud was a Jewish coward who may have understood more about theology than he wished to admit.

I doubt it. Freud wouldn't have known theology if it had bit him on the face.

But the Jewish coward part?!

In 1920, church attendance in America was almost 100%, and there was not much more toleration for theological freedom of free speech than available around the time of the Inquisition. Of course, I exaggerate, to be sure.

But, to suggest the angels of scripture are mental constructs, either in our psyche or in the collective social behavior would have had consequences for that guy, in that day.

Is there a translator around who could take a stab at interpreting this?

According to the date of the first edition of The Freudian Bible Translation and Interpretation, Freud was long dead when it was written and published.

I can tell. I'm surprised it wasn't laughed out of existence.

Nevertheless, the secular factual knowledge Freud and Carl Jung first brought to our modern attention is strangely, too strangely analogous to the seven spirits mentioned in Rev 1:4

*fastens seatbelt*

Rev. 1:16 And he had in his right hand seven stars (the sevenfold angels of the psyche: Id, Libido, Ego, Anima, Self, Harmony, Superego): and out of his mouth went a two-edged sword (cutting both secular and theological wisdom): and his countenance was as the sun (of rationality) shineth in his strength (of factual knowledge).

Quite frankly, this interpretation of Revelation should be by all Christians who have even a passing interest in their beliefs. Heck, they attribute human (albeit psychoanalytic) characteristics to the Spirit of God at Rev. 1:16! This clearly misinterprets the verse (so badly that I, of all people, can recognize), not to mention the entirety of Biblical text.

It would be quite a laugh, if you weren't being serious.

[kofh2u]

[QUOTE=Fëanor]I doubt it. Freud wouldn't have known theology if it had bit him on the face.

But the Jewish coward part?!




Is there a translator around who could take a stab at interpreting this?

I can tell. I'm surprised it wasn't laughed out of existence.

*fastens seatbelt*



Quite frankly, this interpretation of Revelation should be by all Chris

1) Don't think that I disagree with you.
Any person who interprets scripture from Genesis one on,... in the way all twelve present major denominations do,... would see no reason to be objective in their criticism.
Simple ridicule, even a good scourging and maybe a crown of thorns well deserved should suffice as a reply. For sure!

2) However, the Freudian Bible Translation and its composite accompaning bracketed Interpretation starts right off with the idea that: "man in the image of God" is not a physical reflection of God, but a mental ability to abstractly reflect upon God. The premise is carried consistently and flawlessly throughout,that man, in knowing His creation, knows the Creator, a powerful mantra of Christianity.



Gen. 1:26 And God, (The Universal Force, the macrocosmos), said, Let us, (the Natural Laws), make man,(a conscious mind, to model us, Universe, the microcosmos, in order that our image might be modeled after our own orderly organization): and let him (that conscious mind,) have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

Gen. 1:27 So God (The Universal Force) created man (an abstract mind in his own image, enabled to image The Universal Force, abstractly and mathematically), so created God (The Universal Force) him; male and female created he them.