I think I'm a bad person.

[brother vinny]

Argh!!! brother vinny, are you a hot chick (your avatar) or do you like hot chicks?

I'm a guy. My avatar is a Serra Angel from Magic the Gathering.

Just another reason you should be a theist.

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[Ghettochild]

I have gone over this...

[Ghettochild]

but I instinctively see her and think that you are a woman but then i see your gender icon and get completely confused.

[brother vinny]

[Ghettochild]

No, its mine!

[nomad7674]

There is an old saying that seems appropriate here:

"A dog thinks: They feed me, love me and take care of me: they must be gods!
A cat thinks: They feed me, love me and take care of me: I must be a god!"
- Unknown

[Meh_Gerbil]

Or a gunshot to stupid's head.

Apparently my father is posting on this site under the name of Vinny....

[Ishmael]

Mad Gerbi- I empathize for I too cannot stand nonHumans in my home. I currently have cats which I despise for their noise and foul smell. I am thinking of having them detongued. They are also brainless. Good for these cats that my wife and daughter love them because if not they would be gone.

[Meh_Gerbil]

I forgot to tell you the WORST part: The dog is a bread thief.

If you leave a loaf of bread, a tin of crossiants, a freakin' Saltine that dog will steal it right off the counter. I JUST got home 10 minutes ago and there is ANOTHER EMPTY bread bag on the floor.

So I scream at the dog which is his cue to drop to the floor and look away from me but I dragged him over to the bread bag, beat his behind and asked him "WHAT IS THIS? WHAT IS THIS? YOU DO THIS?"

He'll not look at me at this point, totally limp there on the floor with me holding his neck by the collar.

In the past two weeks he's EATEN 3 LOAVES OF BREAD and a package of CHEESE CRACKERS. Well, IF I was eating like that all day I'd be UP at 3AM licking my chops as well! I swear if he eats ONE MORE LOAF of bread I'm gonna crack him over the head with --- WHAT AM I SUpposed to feed my kids? Now I gotta cook because the FRIDAY NIGHT PB&J sandwhichs are outta the picture! I hope he doesn't throw that up, I swear I'll skin that mutt.

STUPID BREAD THIEF, I cannot get a CAT because the ONLY CAT we had threw a gallon of paint down the basement stairs which was that animals last day at our house. (NEVER DID GET ALL THE DECK STAIN CLEANED UP, WE HAD TO MOVE TO GET AWAY FROM IT) WHERE is the DOMESTIC in these animals anymore? Which is why I keep gerbils because they DON'T DO THIS STUFF.

[Xmansmommy]

All I got to say is.......

[India]

Cats do all the same things too. I've lay awake several times listening to our cats play with Styrofoam pellets they've retrieved from the basement...or chew on the spring doorstops so that they make a very loud DOOONNNGGG sound...or on one occasion, set off the burglar alarm by knocking over a plant. One cat is a Siamese who appears whenever I'm in the kitchen and howls, loudly and pathetically, for attention - no matter how much attention he's had in the previous 5 minutes. He also persists in attempting to lay on me, even when it isn't feasible or convenient.

As for eating things, when I was growing up we had a cat who loved to play with toilet paper, so you'd enter the bathroom and the toilet paper roll would have a huge chunk torn out of the middle, rendering it virtually unusable.

Then there's our kitten, who likes to "help" with computer activities by planting herself in front of the monitor and trying to catch or bite the mouse pointer (hey, it is a mouse, and she is a cat... ) and with sink activities by trying to catch the running water or playing with the toothbrush, paper cup or whatever else is nearby. But then, I'm a cat person, so I love them both anyway.

[mossrose]

And cats somehow tend to really like pregnant people. At least that is my experience.

We have shut our cats into the basement for the past 16 years. They have the litter box, food and water, and the entire basement to play in. We sleep at night, they do whatever they do, and everyone is happy.

[Alien]

We have three dogs, two miniature poodles and the one you see in my avatar picture. The poodles sleep on our bed, one constantly trying to get her nose in someones face ... she is the only dog I have ever known that enjoys having someone blow in her face. The other poodle loves to lick any part of our bodies that may be available. Willow (above) has the same talent for being constantly in the way that Gerbil describes. She continually tries to be as close to me as she can.

I quite simply revel in all of this. I would do anything for these dogs, they are on my short list of favorite people. If there are no dogs in heaven I don't want to go.

Gerbil, you are either a dog person or you are not. I am, you are not, though there may be hope for you. As a survival technique, I would suggest dog training classes. Dogs, unlike cats, can be trained to be good citizens. They basically want to please you, you just have to learn how to make them understand what you want. For example, your dog can be trained to go to a particular place, like his dog bed, on command, which will solve your nighttime woes. The command "move", once learned, will get him to move away from you if you find yourself tripping over him. Do you take him for walks? There is no better companion, but make sure he knows "come" before you let him off the leash. Training him to walk on the leash without pulling your arm out of the socket will make it a more pleasant experience also.

Unfortunately, most people don't really understand dogs. They are pack animals, and when placed in a group of other dogs (or people) they will immediately try to establish who is in charge. If you don't act like the pack leader, they will attempt to assume that role. Being in charge means not taking a lot of crap from the dog (note, what I describe in the first paragraph happens because I consciously allow it, they obey when it matters to me) but not correcting the dog in a way that he doesn't understand, like yelling at him hours after he has eaten the bread; he hasn't a clue what you are mad at, but will cower submissively on general principles. When a dog does something wrong, you have about 5 seconds to correct him, after that he doesn't know what you are mad about.

I could go on, but hopefully you get the picture. Don't get mad, get training!

[India]

And cats somehow tend to really like pregnant people. At least that is my experience.

That seems to be the case - several times when I've been in bed, one or the other of them has lain across my abdomen and purred loudly.

[Meh_Gerbil]

Got home from the book store today and there WAS AN ENTIRE TUB of soup ALL OVER THE KITCHEN FLOOR!

I'M GONNA KILL THE DOG NOW.