You Might Be From Colorado If...

[bar Jonah]

Jeff Foxworthy wrote and performed these while touring in Colorado.

You might be from Colorado if . . .


1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.

3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains.

4. You're a meat eating vegetarian.

5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car.

6. You use a down comforter in the summer because you have the a/c on at 55 degrees.

7. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

8. You take your out of town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would never go there otherwise.

9. You install security lights on your house and garage but leave all the doors unlocked.

10. You think the major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire Beer.

11. You carry jumper cables in the car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

13. Driving is better in the winter cause the pot holes are filled with snow.

14. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and "construction"

15. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a team's victory.

16. You can never figure out why your out of town guests faint from altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

17. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can't get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

18. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.

19. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer and not get a buzz.

20. Your car insurance costs more than your car.

21. You have surge protectors on every outlet.

22. April showers bring May blizzards.

23. You see someone riding a Harley in a downpour, and you look closer to see if it's anyone you know.

24. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been. Many times.

25. You know what a 'Chinook' is.

26. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain oyster' is.

27. You know what a 'fourteener' is.

28. But you don't know what a 'turn signal' is.

29. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as a Democrat in Congress does.

30. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning-rod.

31. You know who Alfred Packer was.

32. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.

33. You know who Jim Beckworth was.

34. Driving directions usually include 'Go over_____ Pass...'

35. SPF 90 is not out of the question.

36. People from other states breathe 5 times as often as you do.

37. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.

38. Thunder has set off your car alarm.

39. You have an $800 stereo in a $300 truck.

40. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.

41. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

42. "Where we're going, we don't need roads!!"

43. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.

44. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.

45. You know where the real 'South Park' is.

46. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

47. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka.

49. You've gone skiing in June.

50. You've gone sunbathing in January.

51. You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

And most important:

52. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your friends! :rilol:

[Amazing Rando]

53. You've actually formed a strong opinion about Five Iron Frenzy.

[bar Jonah]

Not necessarily. But you might say...

53. You saw Five Iron Frenzy and/or Rackets & Drapes before they got big.


and here's a big one...


54. You know exactly where you were and what you were doing when Columbine happened.

[Amazing Rando]

55. Your hair is blue.

[bar Jonah]

56. If you've faced the T-Rex many times and lived to tell about it. :riwink:

[NSMinistries]

these were great...

[bar Jonah]

:rithumb:

[mossrose]

1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.

7. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without even flinching.

11. You carry jumper cables in the car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

12. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

13. Driving is better in the winter cause the pot holes are filled with snow.

14. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and "construction"

22. April showers bring May blizzards.

25. You know what a 'Chinook' is.

28. But you don't know what a 'turn signal' is.

35. SPF 90 is not out of the question.

41. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

47. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka.

49. You've gone skiing in June.

50. You've gone sunbathing in January.

51. You get a certain feeling of satisfaction from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.

Meh. These all apply to where I live too.....

[$cirisme]

These are all so true... especially the one about the mountains and directions. I would be completely lost if I didn't see the mountains...

[truthman]

cirisme is a Coloradan too?

[Ursus maritimus]

31. You know who Alfred Packer was.

Sorry for the nitpick, RightIdea, but I think that should be Alferd Packer. The grill on the U of Colorado campus is named after him.

[$cirisme]

Sorry for the nitpick, RightIdea, but I think that should be Alferd Packer. The grill on the U of Colorado campus is named after him.

#53: You not only know who Mr. Packer is, you also know how to correctly spell his first name and you also know what grill is named after him.

[bar Jonah]

We're both right; he used both names. Near as we can tell, his real name was "Alfred." His tombstone reads "Alfred" and a census at the time stated there was an "Alfred Packer" living in that area, but no "Alferd."

The story goes that he got his last name tattoed, and the artist misspelled his name. Packer decided to pick up the name, and used it with friends, on letters and postcards (some of which we have today, confirming he called himself Alferd).

So there! HA! :rithumb:

[Ursus maritimus]

Darn. My attempt to show someone up has failed miserably.

[bar Jonah]

Live by the sword, die by the sword. :rilol: