Want piece or peace?

[GPiper]

The following is a excerpt from a series I wrote for Natural Spirit Ministries web site titled "If you're Jesus Who Am I?"

“See these hands?” he asked thrusting them in my face.

I didn’t really want to look because I knew from previous experiences those were suppose to be my scars on them but I couldn’t stop myself it was like I was drawn to them. It’s really hard to describe them they looked so ugly. The wounds were a reddish-brown and about half an inch in diameter the flesh around them was black while the remainder of his palms was bloodstained. I cringed in pain and immediately turned away and closed my eyes but image would not go away.

He reached out put his right hand under my chin and moved my head so our faces were about 8 inches from each other. “Look at me Gary,” he calmly said.

Immediately I opened my eyes and they filled with tears, “Yes my Lord?” I choked out.

“You are the only who can wash my hands,” his words were filled pain and anguish as was his face.

Suddenly it was like the whole world went on hold the only sound I heard was the beating of my own heart. As I looked at Jesus his head bent toward the ground instantly I knew eternity for me hung in balance. I knew what ever I decided my heart would continue to beat but what of my soul? Could I undecid later? The world grew black and cold and I shivered. I reached out with my left hand and lifted his face so we were eye-to-eye again, “I love you Jesus and I need I you more than anything in the world. I am so ashamed of the way I act sometimes I really want to be a Christian but sometimes I’m reluctant to live like one. Please forgive me.”

Silence filled the air once more then moments later, “The scars in my hands are symbols of my forgiveness.” I thought he was preparing to leave so I readied myself to say goodbye but instead he said, “Well?”

“Well what?” I asked in return.

“Do you want piece or Peace?” he asked pointing at the front of his shirt.

I wasn’t totally sure of what he meant after all what is the relationship between piece such as individual items and peace as in the absence of conflict. So in an effort to hide my ignorance I countered with a question of my own, “What do you think I need?”

Flashing me a big smile he said, “Oh no you don’t this is one of those times when you don’t need to say what’s on your mind. You need to answer it for yourself.”

“Rats!” I replied, “There’s no fooling you is there? I’m not real sure of what you mean but give me a few minutes to think and I’ll see what I come up with.” As I put my brain into thinking gear Jesus started humming to the tune to that game show where they give you the answer and you come up with the question.

Suddenly the word wholeness jumped into my mind and I began associating wholeness and peace together. Then I began associating piece with word fragmented. “You’re asking me if I want my life fragmented or if I want it whole aren’t you?” I said to him.

“That’s not completely right but you’re on the right track. Let me ask you another question and maybe it will help you understand. Do you want a portion of me or all of me?” he asked.

A little frustrated because he’d even ask a question like that I quickly said, “All of you! I’d be fool if I said only a portion.” As soon as I got the words out I wanted to take them back but I couldn’t so I waited for what was to come.

“You know what I’m going to say don’t you Gary?” he asked smiling.

Hanging my head again I replied, “Maybe not word for word but it would be something like this, ‘If you want all of me why do you not leave things in my hands?’”

“That’s pretty much word for word,” he was still smiling, “You’re getting pretty good at reading me.”

“There’s more,” I added.

“I know,” he responded.

“My life is so fragmented and beat up and I want it like yours whole and at complete peace,” I said.

“My life is filled with wholeness and peace but that doesn’t mean it is painless. Look at my hands again then look at the scars on side,” he said lifting his shirt, “And the scars on my feet and tell me life hasn’t beat me up.”

After a few moments of silence I replied, “But Jesus, it’s my life that has beat you up. It is because me you shed tears of pain.”

“My point exactly,” Jesus responded, “When we become one some of your characteristics become mine within the framework of my own understanding. At the same time my characteristics become yours within the framework of your understanding. Wholeness cannot come at once but must be nurtured at allowed to grow.

Grace & Peace
Gary

[Mimi]

Amen