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Thread: Possibly recovering my faith after a long period of atheism

  1. #11
    tWebber
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    Quote Originally Posted by caspianrex View Post
    Hello all,

    For the past year or so, despite the fact that I direct music at a small Methodist church, I have secretly been living as a closet atheist. I just haven't been able to say with any sincerity that I believe in God. However...

    I don't know what exactly got me started down this path, but yesterday I had a sudden yearning for the faith I used to have. I thought to myself, I used to be able to reconcile faith in God with my daily, rational life. What happened?

    I can't say that I'm convinced yet. I still can't say "I believe" with any conviction. But, for some reason, I want to believe again. And I want to figure out why I believe what I believe.

    So...here I am. I'm here to learn (or to re-learn). I think I used to be a member of TWeb back in the day. Good to be back...

    Cory Howell
    Nashville, TN
    Perhaps it is the community. I disbelieve for several reasons, but I can see religion has a place in society if it accepts science and rejects hardline dogma. I personally miss "knowing" I had objective goodness. I still have emotional turbulence around the issue of religion when it is brought up, but I would not consider myself an antitheist. Your reason my involve other factors, as well.
    Last edited by __; 10-16-2014 at 03:49 PM.

  2. #12
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by __ View Post
    Perhaps it is the community. I disbelieve for several reasons, but I can see religion has a place in society if it accepts science and rejects hardline dogma. I personally miss "knowing" I had objective goodness. I still have emotional turbulence around the issue of religion when it is brought up, but I would not consider myself an antitheist. Your reason my involve other factors, as well.
    What do you mean by 'objective goodness'?
    Enter the Church and wash away your sins. For here there is a hospital and not a court of law. Do not be ashamed to enter the Church; be ashamed when you sin, but not when you repent. St. John Chrysostom

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  3. #13
    radical strawberry
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    Y'all are gonna have to move this thread out of Admissions if you keep this up.



    Hiya Caspian!

    Leave while you can ... It's a trap!

    Welcome to TWeb!

  4. #14
    See, the Thing is... Cow Poke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lao tzu View Post
    Y'all are gonna have to move this thread out of Admissions if you keep this up.
    Like at the hospital? Ya start off in admissions, and end up in a room?
    DuckDuckGo - Privacy Simplified

  5. #15
    tWebber
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    What do you mean by 'objective goodness'?
    Black and white morality. It made ethical decisions far less gut-wrenching when I put people in broad boxes. Now, everything comes in fifty shades of grey.

  6. #16
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    Wow, I haven't checked in here at TheologyWeb for almost five years! I totally did not remember sharing this crisis of faith I was experiencing back in 2014. I won't pretend that everything has always been peachy keen since then, but I seem to have made it through pretty well. Oh, I still have ups and downs, times when I find it difficult to maintain my faith. As I shared originally, I've never found it particularly easy to believe, but I have found it important to grapple with what I do or do not believe? Does the distinction make sense? Anyway, I'm currently at a point where I am a committed Christian, who sometimes gets a bit disillusioned with the Church (despite the fact that I still serve on the staff of a wonderful church). It's good to be back. Hopefully, I won't wait another five years before posting again!

  7. #17
    tWebber Chrawnus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caspianrex View Post
    Wow, I haven't checked in here at TheologyWeb for almost five years! I totally did not remember sharing this crisis of faith I was experiencing back in 2014. I won't pretend that everything has always been peachy keen since then, but I seem to have made it through pretty well. Oh, I still have ups and downs, times when I find it difficult to maintain my faith. As I shared originally, I've never found it particularly easy to believe, but I have found it important to grapple with what I do or do not believe? Does the distinction make sense? Anyway, I'm currently at a point where I am a committed Christian, who sometimes gets a bit disillusioned with the Church (despite the fact that I still serve on the staff of a wonderful church). It's good to be back. Hopefully, I won't wait another five years before posting again!
    I can't say I remember seeing you post here, either pre-, or post-crash (although seeing as you have only 4 posts post-crash I think that's hardly surprising), but it's always a joyous occasion to hear someone has managed to find, or re-find, their faith.

    ETA: Oh, and welcome back to TWeb.

  8. Amen LostSheep, Cerebrum123, Littlejoe amen'd this post.
  9. #18
    Professor and Chaplain Littlejoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caspianrex View Post
    Wow, I haven't checked in here at TheologyWeb for almost five years! I totally did not remember sharing this crisis of faith I was experiencing back in 2014. I won't pretend that everything has always been peachy keen since then, but I seem to have made it through pretty well. Oh, I still have ups and downs, times when I find it difficult to maintain my faith. As I shared originally, I've never found it particularly easy to believe, but I have found it important to grapple with what I do or do not believe? Does the distinction make sense? Anyway, I'm currently at a point where I am a committed Christian, who sometimes gets a bit disillusioned with the Church (despite the fact that I still serve on the staff of a wonderful church). It's good to be back. Hopefully, I won't wait another five years before posting again!
    Welcome back!

    You should open a thread in Christianity 201 to explore these nagging doubts and disillusionment. I guarantee one or more of us have had the same and can help. The Church is a Hospital to get well in, not a courtroom to be judged in. I hope we can help....

    "What has the Church gained if it is popular, but there is no conviction, no repentance, no power?" - A.W. Tozer

    "... there are two parties in Washington, the stupid party and the evil party, who occasionally get together and do something both stupid and evil, and this is called bipartisanship." - Everett Dirksen

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