What's so great about Heaven?

[steamer]

Suppose I die and end up in heaven. Do I still have free will? If I do have free will and decide to sin, what happens? God gonna kick me out? If I'm gonna get kicked out for sinning, isn't it likely that over an eternity every free willed being gets kicked out?

I'm not sure that sitting around singing praises to Yahweh is all that appealing either. Frankly, heaven sounds boring. It's like a big cruise ship or something, but even that gets old after awhile. I think I'd like to zip around the universe in an astral body, get away from all the heavenly chorus and brown-nosers.

[TheOneAndOnly]

Suppose I die and end up in heaven. Do I still have free will? If I do have free will and decide to sin, what happens? God gonna kick me out? If I'm gonna get kicked out for sinning, isn't it likely that over an eternity every free willed being gets kicked out?

Clearly God intends his saved few to be little more than automata, praising God and singing hymns and playing harps, but no one is in control of their actions since we can't sin in heaven. And (apparantly) God let humans sin because he loved us and wanted us to have choice in whether we follow him or not. But after we make the choice to follow him... BAM he removes our free will, drugs us up with happy, smiley gas and makes sing songs and blow on rams horns for eternity.
Not only that, but more frighteningly, we won't be allowed to remember our past lives. Think about it, if I'm walking round heaven one day and recognize the guy who sold me the dodgy washing machine, I'm gonna get angry. Except in heaven we can't get angry, so It's like being on some drug where you're happy all the time. Either that or all my memories of life on the old Earth are erased or recorded over with happy memories. Either way, I can no longer call myself me anymore. In heaven you are little more than God's puppet.

I'm not sure that sitting around singing praises to Yahweh is all that appealing either.

I'm with you on that, especially if they get the tambourines out. I think I'd request a transfer to eternal torment, rather than listen to badly written songs accompanied by pointless instruments.

Frankly, heaven sounds boring. It's like a big cruise ship or something, but even that gets old after awhile.

You won't be bored. You won't allowed to be. God likes his automata to have happy smiles on their faces as they sing hymns.

I think I'd like to zip around the universe in an astral body, get away from all the heavenly chorus and brown-nosers.

Can I come along? We can solve mysteries and stuff.

[btboy500]

Clearly God intends his saved few to be little more than automata, praising God and singing hymns and playing harps, but no one is in control of their actions since we can't sin in heaven.

That depends, it could be the case that we can sin, but will not sin. Also, please provide Biblical support for the playing of harps and the singing of hyms.

And (apparantly) God let humans sin because he loved us and wanted us to have choice in whether we follow him or not. But after we make the choice to follow him... BAM he removes our free will, drugs us up with happy, smiley gas and makes sing songs and blow on rams horns for eternity.

Please provide Biblical support for these assertions.

[Calvinist4Him]

Suppose I die and end up in heaven.

Ok, your standing at the judgement seat of Christ.

Do I still have free will?

Sure, as you decide "I'm outta here" and as you turn around to leave you fall off a cloud for what seems like miles into the firey pits of Hell. Too bad so sad, sorry you waited too long chump.

If I do have free will and decide to sin, what happens?

If you were a Saint in a glorfied body lacking the taint and desire to sin, what makes you think you would decide to sin?

God gonna kick me out?

Doesn't He have the authority to do so? Of course He's going to kick you out but gracefully with style in such a way that you will say "hey, thanks for kicking me out".

If I'm gonna get kicked out for sinning, isn't it likely that over an eternity every free willed being gets kicked out?

Answer my question above.

I'm not sure that sitting around singing praises to Yahweh is all that appealing either. Frankly, heaven sounds boring.

Only because you have not known the contentment which God can give through the Holy Spirit. If you could imagine eternal love, peace, and joy, you could imagine the praises not being forced, but flowing like a river out of glad heart.

It's like a big cruise ship or something, but even that gets old after awhile. I think I'd like to zip around the universe in an astral body, get away from all the heavenly chorus and brown-nosers.

What little is known about Heaven is what God has revealed to His chosen "vessels" through the Scriptures. I don't know how or why you have come to the conclusion you have, other than making comparisons of your experiences in Church, and drawing inferences "wow, if Heaven is anything like this, it must be boring". Indeed, it all seems boring and pointless to a stone cold jaded heart.

[steamer]

Sure, as you decide "I'm outta here" and as you turn around to leave you fall off a cloud for what seems like miles into the firey pits of Hell. Too bad so sad, sorry you waited too long chump.

I'm rather hoping for the sugar-coated hell where I just have to be apart from his Yahweh-ness. I really doubt there is any shame in it. Much as I'm not ashamed now. If he's gonna roast me in hell then he's about the most evil being I can imagine.

If you were a Saint in a glorfied body lacking the taint and desire to sin, what makes you think you would decide to sin?

Probably to amuse myself. Sounds like you are saying I would be someone else. What does it profit a man if he lose his own identity to go to heaven?

Doesn't He have the authority to do so? Of course He's going to kick you out but gracefully with style in such a way that you will say "hey, thanks for kicking me out".

Woohoo! FREEDOM!

Only because you have not known the contentment which God can give through the Holy Spirit. If you could imagine eternal love, peace, and joy, you could imagine the praises not being forced, but flowing like a river out of glad heart.

<Yawn> Uh, ya ok.

Indeed, it all seems boring and pointless to a stone cold jaded heart.

I don't have a stone cold heart, anymore than you have one full of gladness

[mossrose]

How blind an unbeliever is!

And of course, if you don't want anything to do with God in this life, you most certainly won't want anything to do with Him in the eternal state. Hence, to you, heaven will be "boring".

Well, I am sure there will be a big party with all your buddies in hell, so have fun there!

[steamer]

How blind an unbeliever is!

And of course, if you don't want anything to do with God in this life, you most certainly won't want anything to do with Him in the eternal state. Hence, to you, heaven will be "boring".

Well, I am sure there will be a big party with all your buddies in hell, so have fun there!

Thanks, have fun in yawn-land!

[ChrisChillin]

Frankly, heaven sounds boring.

Have you heard a description of it to base that statement on?

Oh well, it doesn't matter anyway...no one is going "there."

[TheOneAndOnly]

Please provide Biblical support for these assertions.

No, I can't be bothered. If they're wrong, they're wrong. It's not as though heaven actually means anything to me anyway. But if you have a description of Heaven, based on the Bible, which contradicts my description then by all means, tell us what heaven will be like.
Steamer is right, it does sound boring. Even the colour scheme is boring: blue background with white clouds. So cliche.

[olblucat]

Suppose I die and end up in heaven. Do I still have free will? If I do have free will and decide to sin, what happens? God gonna kick me out? If I'm gonna get kicked out for sinning, isn't it likely that over an eternity every free willed being gets kicked out?

I'm not sure that sitting around singing praises to Yahweh is all that appealing either. Frankly, heaven sounds boring. It's like a big cruise ship or something, but even that gets old after awhile. I think I'd like to zip around the universe in an astral body, get away from all the heavenly chorus and brown-nosers.

Heaven has always seemed a little bit too good to be true. As most of the jokes made here in responce seem to show in their pearls of wisdom?.

It would seem to be out of the realm of our human understanding to conceive of only knowing bliss. We know we are happy because we have been sad. We know we are full because we have know emptiness. We know love because we have suffered through aloneness. We know drunkiness because we have sobriety at most times.

How will we know bliss if we have nothing to compare it too. For most of us, the only time we have had with no negative connitations of any sort, mental, physical, time, or location is when drugged, legal or illegally. How can we conceive of only good choices, never any wrong or bad or consequencially harmfull ones. One of many axioms used is the athletic endeavors "no pain, no gain." What would life with no pain be but endless narcotic like dreaming.

I, for one, would rather have to struggle and strive and have the choice of being sad or happy or moody or poutful. And give up physical and mental intensity with my gal, never!

olblu

[Superbug]

I can't remember where I read it, but someone said that in Heaven you will have the free will to decide if you are going to sing "Hallelujah" as a soprano, tenor, baritone, etc.

[steamer]

It just seems that Christianity has lost some of its marketing appeal. First you convince the consumer that they need a product (New and Improved Christianity prevents Hell!). Then you say that not only does the product allow you to avoid disaster but it also has other benefits. (New and Improved Christianity is a ticket to paradise). Unfortunately the puritan paradise is not appealing to many people and it was noticed that the being in charge of heaven was the same one that created hell for purposes of eternal torture. Maybe it’s not that great an idea to be around him after all.

So sugar-coated hells are now in fashion, he’s not going to have you tortured forever for your sins, maybe just commensurate with your sin; or maybe it’s just apartness from him. As a potential consumer of religious services, I’m not thrilled with the idea of drinking milkshakes at heavens sock-hop and I’m not particularly afraid of “apartness” from god, which is what I have now. So Christianity doesn’t seem to offer much except an eternal life of pain or boredom for a soul I might or might not have or a new body or some other such nonsense.

[Sparko]

I think us trying to figure out what heaven will be like is like a 5 year old trying to decide what being grown up will be like.

"I never want to grow up! If I grew up I wouldn't want watch to Sesame Street, or play hopscotch or play barbie dolls/Hotwheels any more! It would be sooo boring!"

[flipper]

Steamer:

I'm not sure that sitting around singing praises to Yahweh is all that appealing either. Frankly, heaven sounds boring. It's like a big cruise ship or something, but even that gets old after awhile. I think I'd like to zip around the universe in an astral body, get away from all the heavenly chorus and brown-nosers.

Don't fall for that Rennaissance vision of heaven, I don't think it's biblical. And even if it were, couldn't the argument be made that these descriptions are not intended to be literal. Oh, and quit trying to troll the Christians.

[steamer]

Oh, and quit trying to troll the Christians.

Why?