First Kiss At The Altar

[woohoo]

Of course, culture likes to tell us that no one can (or should) hold back on sexual desires. I don't know why this is the case. If I can train my dog to control itself and do its business outdoors (satisfying a physical urge), I don't see why a person (who are much smarter than a dog) can't control his or her physical urges.

I total agree with the above paragraph you typed. People can control their urges and that's why I think it's ok to kiss before you get married. you are not going to end up having sex with a girl just because you kiss her. For the people who can't control themselves, it would be better to wait until you are married to kiss. If thats how far some people have to take it to not have sex, then go for it, it's a worthy pursuit. My problem with this idea is when everyone is told that kissing is bad and that it will only lead to sex. That is not true for everyone and I know because I've kissed several girls and not had sex with any of them. It's just a slippery slope argument used to scare people into agreement. There is enough condemnation in the church without adding another rule to the code of proper Christian conduct.

[One Bad Pig]

:gravedigger:

[Jin-Roh]

I was discussing something with a friend today about the first kiss at the altar movement. My contention is that the physical is an important part of any relationship and should not be denied altogether. (Although I will say sex will have to wait til marriage.) My friend is of the belief that he wouldn't want to have to tell his wife he's kissed other women, but they'll know you've surely dated others! I figured I'd see what most of the men on TWeb thought about it then.

I have mentioned in other threads that it is hard for a girl to to go from "Don't kiss me on the lips" to "come into the holy of holies" within a twenty four hour period. For that matter, it isn't easy for a guy either. Anatomically speaking a woman's -"holy of holies"- often needs to exercised prior to first penetration anyway.

If I was dating a girl and she was uncomfortable kissing after reasonable amount of relationality, I would take that as a less of sign of holiness (or whatever), but more of a sign that she is not the least bit comfortable with her sexuality. It is a sad side affect of how little Christian girls are raised, which I is occasionally described to me by my girlfriend. What motivates your friend to favor a no-kissing rule is not mine to say though.

In other short, I think a no-kissing rule is a bad idea.

[T-Shirt Ninja]

I was discussing something with a friend today about the first kiss at the altar movement. My contention is that the physical is an important part of any relationship and should not be denied altogether. (Although I will say sex will have to wait til marriage.) My friend is of the belief that he wouldn't want to have to tell his wife he's kissed other women, but they'll know you've surely dated others! I figured I'd see what most of the men on TWeb thought about it then.

Well, count me and my fiancee out of that one. I think she would have broken up with me if I didn't kiss her and she's quite an excellent person. Ditto on sex waiting til marriage.

[Chrs]

This is a non-issue. Anyone propagating this idea will never get into this position

[Darth Executor]

It is a sad side affect of how little Christian girls are raised

And the freaking creepy comment of the day goes to...

[Jin-Roh]

And the freaking creepy comment of the day goes to...

you know that did sound creepy... I really wish I had phrased that differently.

[Kenny]

I knew a couple who did that. Seems like a bad idea to me though. “Well, I know we’ve never even kissed. Now let’s go have sex!” The first time is awkward enough as it is.

[Carrikature]

Um, since it doesn't seem to have occured to ya'll....


People who don't kiss until they get married don't necessarily have sex on their wedding night...

[Kenny]

Um, since it doesn't seem to have occured to ya'll....


People who don't kiss until they get married don't necessarily have sex on their wedding night...

Yeah. But what a bummer that is.

[Chrs]

Um, since it doesn't seem to have occured to ya'll....


People who don't kiss until they get married don't necessarily have sex on their wedding night...

That's boring, isn't it? - they're waiting overly long enough as is

[supton]

That's boring, isn't it? - they're waiting overly long enough as is

Eh, their choice. Marriage is about more than sex.

[Kenny]

Eh, their choice. Marriage is about more than sex.

True. But sex is an important component of it. The marriage isn’t really fully established until it is consummated. I agree, though, that this isn’t a moral issue (I don’t think that people who wait for a substantial time after the ceremony to consummate are doing something wrong). I just think this isn’t the ideal.

[Pilgrim]

Let's take this in another direction. Let's talk about the whole "altar" thing. You see, that would not be possible in a truly reformed church. We don't have altars. No need for them anymore you see. Christ was the final and sufficient sacrifice so if you still have an altar you're using, you need to check your theology. Now, if you're talking about a "chancel" or something like that...

[Carrikature]

Meh, I didn't even get married in a church.