Heathen's Haven Bar & Grill

[Bald Ape]

Tag Key:
<narrative> = Narrative (duh)
No tags = Spoken aloud

(feel free to make up your own tags as needed)

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<narrative>The ticking of the small clock in the corner gives the otherwise silent room a serene atmosphere - allowing Bald Ape to forget, temporarily, about the doubts that have plagued his mind all morning. The sudden, deafening roar of the church bells from next door, then from across the street, and soon coming from every direction, snaps him back to reality... </narrative>

I must be crazy. What kind of idiot opens a grill for freethinkers in the middle of a theocratic aristocracy? Even if it works, surely the powers that be will take a great deal of pleasure in shutting it down.

<narrative>The church bells have awakened both Bald Ape's doubts, and his realization that the time has come... it's 10:30, and time to open for HH's first ever lunch rush. He walks over to the door, turns the lock, and flips a sign around, announcing to the world that, for the first time ever, Heathen's Haven is open for business.

His mood is further dampened by the mixture of hymns, preached sermons, droning incantations, and a indeciferable slew of other religious noise that wash over him as he props the outer door open. Dejectedly, he notices the "Help Wanted" sign is now almost illegible - covered from top to bottom with various bible verses and promises of prayers to come.

As he walks back into the bar, though, he's struck by a thought. A smile forming on his lips, he walks over to the jukebox, pops in a quarter, and makes a selection.

One can't deny the bounce that has returned to his step, as he steps behind the bar, gives the countertop a quick wipe, and looks up to the door, seeing the approaching form of his first customer.

In the background, the jukebox begins to blare the introduction to AC/DC's "Hell's Bells"...
</narrative>

Welcome to Heathen's Haven! What can I get for ya?

[garthoverman]

Welcome to Heathen's Haven! What can I get for ya?

I'll have a pint of Pete's Wicked Ale.

-Garth

[Bald Ape]

Today @ 11:30 AM post located here
garthoverman:


I'll have a pint of Pete's Wicked Ale.

-Garth

<Grabs two pints of Pete's Wicked Ale>

For the first customer, it's on the house - so long if you don't mind sharing in a toast...

[garthoverman]

Today @ 05:35 PM post located here
Bald Ape:



<Grabs two pints of Pete's Wicked Ale>

For the first customer, it's on the house - so long if you don't mind sharing in a toast...

Cheers, Mate!

<narrative> Garth toasts to Godlessness with the bartender, and then leaning back against the bar surveys the room for any sweet-lookin' heathen ladies...</narrative>

Garth to BaldApe: Seems kinda dead in here. What's the deal? Maybe you should hang a crucifix upside-down in front of your bar?

• Edited by a Moderator •

-Garth

Moderator Notice

Garth, yes this is the Naturalism area, but the intent is not for gratuitous blasphemy against Christianity. I know you were joking, but it was a bit much. Please remember that is a Christian-owned board and respect that.

***If you wish to take issue with this notice DO NOT do so in this thread.***
Contact the forum moderator or an administrator in Private Message or email instead. If you feel you must publically complain or whine, please take it to the Psychotherapy Room unless told otherwise.

[Bald Ape]

BaldApe aloud: To Godlessness! <nar>GULP</nar>

BaldApe to Garth: Anyway, I expected a slow start - takes some time for the word to get out 'n all. <nar> GULP </nar> As far as the female problem (or lack thereof), I'm thinking of throwing a happy hour tonight, ladies drink for free. You wouldn't think it from all the racket outside • Edited by a Moderator • but I'll bet there's a female or two around here who wouldn't mind a drink, a dance, and some conversation beyond what tunes they'll play on their harps once they go to heaven...

[LGM]

<nar> LGM strolls into the Bar, parks his butt on a barstool by Garth </nar>

Yo, ape man, hows that bi-pedalism comin along?

Think you might show some of it off by fetchin me a Bass Ale and one of your finest cigars?

<nar> LGM notices the dart board and starts sizin up Garth's ability, and the size of his wallet...
</nar>

[Dee Dee Warren]

Moderator Notice

Listen guys, the intent of this area was for the nontheists to be able to discuss their in-house issues amongst yourselves. It is not for "heathen humor" and gratuitous blasphemy. Please respect that this is a Christian owned forum, and we extended this area as a courtesy, but please do not abuse the privilege. This thread is closed.

***If you wish to take issue with this notice DO NOT do so in this thread.***
Contact the forum moderator or an administrator in Private Message or email instead. If you feel you must publically complain or whine, please take it to the Psychotherapy Room unless told otherwise.