Tektoonics.com

[jpholding]

Well, stick 'em in a pie and eat them. Or is that blackbirds?

An SR-71 makes for an odd crust.

Blblblblblbbllll.

Hey, on the side, it's just possible that having this scanner will speed things up once I start RP #2.

[papabryant]

Hey JP,

Just viewed the new cartoon site. Excellent! Good luck with it. (Next book a Graphic Novel?)

Have a Merry Christmas!

Peace, Tom

[jpholding]

Thanks, Papa! I guess you could call the Annals a graphic novel as is...

Progress report...

Out of 80 pages:
Inked page 62.
Colored page 35.

[Darth Executor]

Thanks, Papa! I guess you could call the Annals a graphic novel as is...

Progress report...

Out of 80 pages:
Inked page 62.
Colored page 35.

Any chance it will be done at Christmas?

[jpholding]

Any chance it will be done at Christmas?

Very unlikely. I'm thinking more January 5-7. In between now and then I have not only the two holidays (and I'm likely to be on the road for a few days) but also my 14th wedding anniversary.

But, there will be an update on tektoonics Friday with some parody items redone from Tekton (plus one new one, at least) and a little new Gallery art.

[jpholding]

Got a groove last night.

Inked: 68
Coloring: 40

And I managed to trim one page of script out, so make that 79 pages, not 80.

And it's my 15TH anniversary, darn it.

[Darth Executor]

Got a groove last night.

Inked: 68
Coloring: 40

And I managed to trim one page of script out, so make that 79 pages, not 80.

And it's my 15TH anniversary, darn it.

You spent your anniversary drawing? Nerd.

[jpholding]

You spent your anniversary drawing? Nerd.

Did not! My anniversary is the 22nd. Oh wait...

Oh I see. The "it's" refers back to my prior mistake in saying it was the 14th in number in the prior post, not to "it's" as in "it's today".

Sorry. One too many Tilkrig Snoutbusters.

[jpholding]

OK, it's time for the first original tektoonics parody. Who wants to help?

I'm redoing this stupid little ditty called The Parable of the Insane Dog Breeder. Here it is for reference:

There once lived a man who bred dogs. Over the years he worked to produce a breed of strong, intelligent and loyal animals. At last he developed a unique breed which, he liked to think, reflected the best of his own nature. nature. And for awhile all was good. Then the animals began fighting. They fought among themselves and with other breeds. They fought and injured and killed, often for trivial reasons, sometimes for no reason at all. Worst of all in the breeder's eyes, the dogs became disobedient, sometimes not even recognizing him as their master. Because he could not bear their savagery, nor endure their arrogant disobedience, the breeder decided he must destroy them. He planned to kill them all.

Then he had another idea. He loved his dogs so much, in spite of their unremitting savagery, that he decided to put his young son in the dog pen as a model of innocence and virtue, to save the dogs from themselves. Surely, in the presence of such an obvious example, a teacher sent by their master, the dogs would be humbled and would learn to reject their monstrous ways. But in his heart the breeder knew this would not happen. He knew the dogs would kill his son. And they did. The dogs ripped away the young man's clothing and tore him to bloody pieces.

The insane breeder continued to love his dogs, and he told them, "Any of you who will believe this was my son, whom I allowed to be killed for your sakes, I will not punish, but I will bring you to live with me in my house."

Any human being who would do such a thing to his own son would rightly be condemned as insane, immoral and evil. In every human society, a person who abets the murder of an innocent for the sake of the unworthy, and calls it "love", is rightly regarded as insane, immoral and evil. If we would hold this opinion of a humble dog breeder, what then can we say of an omnipotent and omniscient Deity who does the same thing? How much more insane, immoral and evil must a Deity be, to commit a morally equivalent act? This is the plain and obvious moral abomination at the core of Christianity: the Christian God has the morals of an insane dog breeder who feeds his child to monsters. To deny this conclusion we must abandon not only reason, but simple human decency as well.

Yip, yip, yip. OK, here's my version so far:
*******

There once lived a man who bred dogs. Well, not really breed them. What he did was just think of them, and they appeared; and then they bred from there. The dogs were strong, intelligent, and capable of loyalty, but the man gave them enough intelligence so that they could understand his commands and make their own choices. Most of the dogs appreciated this, but a few were ungrateful and blamed the man for their problems.

For example, one day one of them saw that the man had posted a sign near the farm that said DO NOT PASS THIS SIGN. FIELD BEYOND INFESTED WITH FLEAS. Some of the dogs heeded this warning, but others just laughed. "That man probably keeps steaks in that field and is trying to trick us," some said. "I'll bet we can find those steaks and become bigger, stronger dogs." Of course the dogs never found the steaks, but always came back infested with fleas, which they passed on to the other dogs, including their own puppies.

Before long, however, the infestation of fleas became so serious that the man realized that the dogs would have to be quarantined. He planned to put all his dogs in quarantine if needed, but first he had another idea. He loved his dogs so much, in spite of how stupid they could be, that he decided to send his young son in the dog pen with flea spray. The son would ask each dog if it wanted to be sprayed, and if it accepted, he would spray it.

But some of the dogs refused to be sprayed, and in fact, got so angry that they killed the young son.

"Oh, well," said the man, and immediately raised his son from the dead and put him in charge of the whole operation, where the son continued to give the dogs a choice of either being sprayed or being quarantined.

Later as the man was retired in Tierra del Fuego, one of his dogs -- a chihuahua, as it happened -- came to see him.

"You know, that was a very stupid idea to send your son in to where the dogs were to get killed," the dog woofed.

The man sipped at his cool drink. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, there it was, you sent your son as a model of innocence and virtue, to save the dogs from themselves, thinking that surely, in the presence of such an obvious example, master, the dogs would be humbled and would learn to reject their monstrous ways."

"Who told you that?"

The dog cocked it's head. "Uhhhh....that's not why you sent him?"

"No. That's what some of the more liberal dog breeders out there think I did it for. Of course I don't deny that I expected some of the dogs to use my son as a role model, but only the ones who took the spray. The rest were not the ones I sent him to help."

"Uhhhhhhhh....but wait. In your heart you knew they would kill him, right? You knew those dogs would kill your son. And they did. They ripped away his clothing and tore him to bloody pieces."

"Yeah, and?"

The chihuahua was flummoxed. "Well, uh, that's terrible!"

The man sipped again. "Why? My son wanted to do the job; it got rid of fleas forever on the dogs that took the spray, which ended their suffering and allowed them to co-exist with him -- because we can't have those fleas spread to people, now, can we? -- and I raised him from the dead and put him in charge of the operation. He thought it was worth the effort; so did I. It allowed countless billions of dogs to be free of fleas, as well as countless billions more puppies too young to avoid fleas on their own. Why isn't that worth the death of a single person who isn't constrained by death in the first place?"

The chihuahua stuttered and stammered a bit. "Uh, well, I say that any human being who would do such a thing to his own son would rightly be condemned as insane, immoral and evil."

The man laughed. "Well you are just a dumb dog, after all, and a very selfish one at that. I guess you've never heard of the idea of vicarious sacrifice."

"Huh?"

"Look, you dumb little dog -- throughout the history of my operation, the vast majority of dogs who have ever lived have recognized willing and vicarious self-sacrifice as noble and honorable. It's just a tiny lot of you -- who happened to have been bred very recently, as it happens -- who have gotten so self-centered and ignorant that you don't appreciate the nobility of dying for the sake of your loved ones. Tell me, do you have a mate?"

"Uhh....no..."

"If you did, would you love them enough to die for them?"

"Look, the point is, that in every human society, a person who abets the murder of an innocent for the sake of the unworthy, and calls it 'love', is rightly regarded as insane, immoral and evil."

The man looked at the dog closely. "So, you call yourself an unworthy, right?"

The dog's eyes popped like saucers and he said, "Duh."

"And if you're an unworthy, then what the blazes do you know and what makes your understanding of the situation reliable?"

"Duh."

"Let me sum it up for you, little fellow. The bottom line is that your lack of appreciation of the value of noble self-sacrifice is your own problem. You're self-centered and without a care for what others think or do. My son volunteered for his duty out of his own love for you dogs. The least you can do is be appreciative, but obviously you're an ingrate."

The dog turned red with rage and nipped at the man's boot.

"Hmph. See what I mean? So are you going to complain that it's unfair that I put the likes of you in quarantine away from the healthy and obedient dogs? You complain if I do that, and you complain if I give you a way to take yourself out of quarantine that in the end benefits everyone who is willing to do nothing more complicated than give their assent. What the heck kind of dumb dog are you, anyway?"

And with that, the man ground the obnoxious little chihuahua into the ground with his boot where the chihuahua continued to yip, whine and complain for eternity. This is the plain and obvious moral abomination at the core of those who called the breeder insane for what he did: They didn't get their facts straight; they're a bunch of selfish whiners, and to top it all off, they call their own beliefs after the names of "reason" and "simple human decency" as though they were the bellybuttons of the world.

*****

And I'll make an accompanying toon, maybe of a really dumb dog.

Any more ideas or reactions on this one? It goes up Friday.

[Darth Executor]

OK, it's time for the first original tektoonics parody. Who wants to help?

I'm redoing this stupid little ditty called The Parable of the Insane Dog Breeder. Here it is for reference:



Yip, yip, yip. OK, here's my version so far:
*******

There once lived a man who bred dogs. Well, not really breed them. What he did was just think of them, and they appeared; and then they bred from there. The dogs were strong, intelligent, and capable of loyalty, but the man gave them enough intelligence so that they could understand his commands and make their own choices. Most of the dogs appreciated this, but a few were ungrateful and blamed the man for their problems.

For example, one day one of them saw that the man had posted a sign near the farm that said DO NOT PASS THIS SIGN. FIELD BEYOND INFESTED WITH FLEAS. Some of the dogs heeded this warning, but others just laughed. "That man probably keeps steaks in that field and is trying to trick us," some said. "I'll bet we can find those steaks and become bigger, stronger dogs." Of course the dogs never found the steaks, but always came back infested with fleas, which they passed on to the other dogs, including their own puppies.

Before long, however, the infestation of fleas became so serious that the man realized that the dogs would have to be quarantined. He planned to put all his dogs in quarantine if needed, but first he had another idea. He loved his dogs so much, in spite of how stupid they could be, that he decided to send his young son in the dog pen with flea spray. The son would ask each dog if it wanted to be sprayed, and if it accepted, he would spray it.

But some of the dogs refused to be sprayed, and in fact, got so angry that they killed the young son.

"Oh, well," said the man, and immediately raised his son from the dead and put him in charge of the whole operation, where the son continued to give the dogs a choice of either being sprayed or being quarantined.

Later as the man was retired in Tierra del Fuego, one of his dogs -- a chihuahua, as it happened -- came to see him.

"You know, that was a very stupid idea to send your son in to where the dogs were to get killed," the dog woofed.

The man sipped at his cool drink. "Why do you say that?"

"Well, there it was, you sent your son as a model of innocence and virtue, to save the dogs from themselves, thinking that surely, in the presence of such an obvious example, master, the dogs would be humbled and would learn to reject their monstrous ways."

"Who told you that?"

The dog cocked it's head. "Uhhhh....that's not why you sent him?"

"No. That's what some of the more liberal dog breeders out there think I did it for. Of course I don't deny that I expected some of the dogs to use my son as a role model, but only the ones who took the spray. The rest were not the ones I sent him to help."

"Uhhhhhhhh....but wait. In your heart you knew they would kill him, right? You knew those dogs would kill your son. And they did. They ripped away his clothing and tore him to bloody pieces."

"Yeah, and?"

The chihuahua was flummoxed. "Well, uh, that's terrible!"

The man sipped again. "Why? My son wanted to do the job; it got rid of fleas forever on the dogs that took the spray, which ended their suffering and allowed them to co-exist with him -- because we can't have those fleas spread to people, now, can we? -- and I raised him from the dead and put him in charge of the operation. He thought it was worth the effort; so did I. It allowed countless billions of dogs to be free of fleas, as well as countless billions more puppies too young to avoid fleas on their own. Why isn't that worth the death of a single person who isn't constrained by death in the first place?"

The chihuahua stuttered and stammered a bit. "Uh, well, I say that any human being who would do such a thing to his own son would rightly be condemned as insane, immoral and evil."

The man laughed. "Well you are just a dumb dog, after all, and a very selfish one at that. I guess you've never heard of the idea of vicarious sacrifice."

"Huh?"

"Look, you dumb little dog -- throughout the history of my operation, the vast majority of dogs who have ever lived have recognized willing and vicarious self-sacrifice as noble and honorable. It's just a tiny lot of you -- who happened to have been bred very recently, as it happens -- who have gotten so self-centered and ignorant that you don't appreciate the nobility of dying for the sake of your loved ones. Tell me, do you have a mate?"

"Uhh....no..."

"If you did, would you love them enough to die for them?"

"Look, the point is, that in every human society, a person who abets the murder of an innocent for the sake of the unworthy, and calls it 'love', is rightly regarded as insane, immoral and evil."

The man looked at the dog closely. "So, you call yourself an unworthy, right?"

The dog's eyes popped like saucers and he said, "Duh."

"And if you're an unworthy, then what the blazes do you know and what makes your understanding of the situation reliable?"

"Duh."

"Let me sum it up for you, little fellow. The bottom line is that your lack of appreciation of the value of noble self-sacrifice is your own problem. You're self-centered and without a care for what others think or do. My son volunteered for his duty out of his own love for you dogs. The least you can do is be appreciative, but obviously you're an ingrate."

The dog turned red with rage and nipped at the man's boot.

"Hmph. See what I mean? So are you going to complain that it's unfair that I put the likes of you in quarantine away from the healthy and obedient dogs? You complain if I do that, and you complain if I give you a way to take yourself out of quarantine that in the end benefits everyone who is willing to do nothing more complicated than give their assent. What the heck kind of dumb dog are you, anyway?"

And with that, the man ground the obnoxious little chihuahua into the ground with his boot where the chihuahua continued to yip, whine and complain for eternity. This is the plain and obvious moral abomination at the core of those who called the breeder insane for what he did: They didn't get their facts straight; they're a bunch of selfish whiners, and to top it all off, they call their own beliefs after the names of "reason" and "simple human decency" as though they were the bellybuttons of the world.

*****

And I'll make an accompanying toon, maybe of a really dumb dog.

Any more ideas or reactions on this one? It goes up Friday.

To be honest, I think the original story is a parody of itself. It claims Christians are a special, brilliant breed of dog who can understand human commands while the other dogs are too stupid to do so. No complaint on my part.

[Darth Executor]

One more meeting to go and I'm gonna start on the spider Sheila picture as soon as I get back. I hope our scanner still works.

[Darth Executor]

Time to get started on the spider Sheila. I haven't drawn anything in 3 years and started again last Saturday (with mixed results: a vampire vampire hunter I designed came out fine, his sword came out like crap, the dragon I made came out obese and the dwarf body builder wasn't so much a dwarf as he had small hands ). I should have it done tomorrow and if that thing on my dad's desk is a scanner I'll post it here.

[jpholding]

Tektoonics site upload tomorrow. I hope to have done a special "out of place" piece I've had rattling around the mixer for a bit...

[Darth Executor]

Strangely enough, the pencil part is done already (her hands are too small, but I am utterly incapable of drawing hands so I have to accept defeat). My mom won't let me scan it now (she's using the computer with the scanner) so it'll have to wait for tomorrow morning.

[jpholding]

Heeeeeeheee....got the "out of place" item done...this is so mean....