Submit Your Candidates for December 2005 Screwballs of the Month

[jpholding]

The usual. Any attempts by DJ to sign in and produce messages made with the Nauseating Repeat Cut and Paste™ method will result in him being sucked to death by a gang of Elapines wielding Rug Doctors.

[jpholding]

I knew he'd provide fodder for this month too, but not even in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this choice.:

The webmaster of the Christian Think Tank thingy offers a challenge to disprove Jesus. When I wrote he suggested coming here, among other ideas.

Alright then.

I don't know his name but I'd like to take him up on a 1-2-1 debate using the criteria of his own website for establishing mythology borrowing.

I'm no expert on the subject of the bible and such stuff but I have the power of Google.


So where is he then?


"Mr Happypants"

It occurs to me as well -- he doesn't know my name, but he got 4-5 emails from me?

[Cynic Sage]

I knew he'd provide fodder for this month too, but not even in my wildest dreams did I think it would be this choice.:



It occurs to me as well -- he doesn't know my name, but he got 4-5 emails from me?

He thinks YOU run Christian-Thinktank?

[jpholding]

He thinks YOU run Christian-Thinktank?

You'd think the differing styles of writing and templates would be a clue if the URL wasn't.

[Cynic Sage]

A possible nomination for Ted Bell (aka "The Detective"):

http://therealfrankwalton.blogspot.c...n_archive.html

http://therealfrankwalton.blogspot.c...lic-popup.html

Walton says that Bell has been masquerading as him doing that.

Frank may be the Jimbo from Bizarro-World. But from what I've read of his and Ted's material, that sounds alot more like something Ted would do.

[Cynic Sage]

Jimbo and Marduck:

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...ad.php?t=66421

Hi,

First of all, just to be perfectly clear, I don't believe that the Christian god exists. I think it is a make-believe being invented by primitive, superstitious, ignorant people. Regardless of what I think about the Christian god, however, I would like to know what Christians think of their god. Specifically, I want to know why Christians believe that the Christian god deserves to be worshipped. The Christian god has always been all-powerful. There is nothing that has ever been or ever could be beyond this god's power. Unlike human beings which have to set goals, suffer and work to achieve them, the Christian god only has to snap its fingers-so t speak-and its wishes come true magically and instantly.

I think the following quote from the Secular Web captures this idea pretty well:

Why does God deserve praise at all? Did he work or study hard for billions of years to achieve his abilities, overcome great obstacles, fears or stumbling blocks? It doesn't seem that way, sounds like he came with all the magic powers by fiat, like a rich child who was born on third base and thinks he hit a triple, big deal that's how he was made or is or whatever. Why praise such a being at all?

Amazing how much mileage Christians get out of a book of Jewish folklore.

Sec Web discussion
copied 05/23/2002 02:09:43

So the God who created the Universe and everything in it shouldn't be worshipped because he isn't some kind of Eternal, Omniscient, Omnipotent Batman?

And then he parrots Underlings again:

So why does the Christian god deserve worship?

One thing to think about is this: If you were all powerful like the Christian god, couldn't you have done a better job of creating the world we live in? Why, for example, did the Christian god create influenza, malaria, childhood leukemia, the ebola virus and parasitic worms? Why is the order of nature based in large part on one creature ripping to shreds and devouring other creatures? Why does the Christian god-who has unlimited power-sit by and watch as eight thousand children die of starvation each and every day?

Why does such a god deserve our worship?

Thanks.

Jimbo

[Cynic Sage]

Kenite, after finding out that Billy Graham holds an honaray doctorate degree from a Catholic Seminary:

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...ad.php?t=66547

Graham has been disowned by Christians since he accepted Romanism as valid.

Though backing by Randolph Hearst was something like a kiss of death.

"Billy Graham disowned by Christians"? Well, you heard it here first.

[Darth Executor]

I PMed OBP about moving my message but he doesn't care so I'll just post the previous one again.


Oh those silly Brits...

http://www.guardian.co.uk/Columnist...1657942,00.html

But so far, so good. The story makes sense. The lion exchanging his life for Edmund's is the sort of thing Arthurian legends are made of. Parfait knights and heroes in prisoner-of-war camps do it all the time. But what's this? After a long, dark night of the soul and women's weeping, the lion is suddenly alive again. Why? How?, my children used to ask. Well, it is hard to say why. It does not make any more sense in CS Lewis's tale than in the gospels. Ah, Aslan explains, it is the "deep magic", where pure sacrifice alone vanquishes death.

Of all the elements of Christianity, the most repugnant is the notion of the Christ who took our sins upon himself and sacrificed his body in agony to save our souls. Did we ask him to? Poor child Edmund, to blame for everything, must bear the full weight of aguilt only Christians know how to inflict, with a twisted knife to the heart. Every one of those thorns, the nuns used to tell my mother, is hammered into Jesus's holy head every day that you don't eat your greens or say your prayers when you are told. So the resurrected Aslan gives Edmund a long, life-changing talking-to high up on the rocks out of our earshot. When the poor boy comes back down with the sacred lion's breath upon him he is transformed unrecognisably into a Stepford brother, well and truly purged.

Over the years, others have had uneasy doubts about the Narnian brand of Christianity. Christ should surely be no lion (let alone with the orotund voice of Liam Neeson). He was the lamb, representing the meek of the earth, weak, poor and refusing to fight. Philip Pullman - he of the marvellously secular trilogy His Dark Materials - has called Narnia "one of the most ugly, poisonous things I have ever read".

Why? Because here in Narnia is the perfect Republican, muscular Christianity for America - that warped, distorted neo-fascist strain that thinks might is proof of right. I once heard the famous preacher Norman Vincent Peel in New York expound a sermon that reassured his wealthy congregation that they were made rich by God because they deserved it. The godly will reap earthly reward because God is on the side of the strong. This appears to be CS Lewis's view, too. In the battle at the end of the film, visually a great epic treat, the child crusaders are crowned kings and queens for no particular reason. Intellectually, the poor do not inherit Lewis's earth.

Children are supposed to fall in love with the hypnotic Aslan, though he is not a character: he is pure, raw, awesome power. He is an emblem for everything an atheist objects to in religion.

Note: I wonder if Ms. (I'm assuming nobody is stupid enough to marry her) Toynbee and other members of her broad brushed atheist groups would object to giving me all their money and power. I'd settle for North Korea.

[Darth Executor]

College atheist club trades porn magazines for holy texts:

http://www.atheistagenda.org/porno-for-bibles/

I wouldn't have nominated them but then I saw their favorite web site list.

[Darth Executor]

Soundsurfr is on a roll:

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...t=66739&page=4

It means what it says. You claimed that atheism allows murder. I said, no, it doesn’t *allow* murder. Your response which amounts to “therefore it must prohibit it” is logically false. I no longer expect you to understand these things, but it is logic 101 in case you want to make an effort.

Hey, it doesn't allow it and it doesn't disallow it either. There must be a third option in there somewhere that I missed.

f you are raised by Ted Bundy as a parent you're more likely to become a murderer than if you are raised by Mother Theresa because Ted Bundy was a murderer and Mother Theresa was not. Mother Theresa is superior.
If you are a viking you are more likely to raid and burn down villages than you are if you're an average american because vikings burned down villages for fun while average americans probably don't have enough stamina to even get to the village, let alone the stomach to burn one. Americans are superior.
If you are born an atheist you are more likely to become a psycho dictator then if you are a Christian because atheism does not affect morals while Christianity forbids murder. Christians are superior.

Aside from the fact that this is the biggest pile of unsupported bull I’ve ever seen crammed into a single post, what criteria are you using to judge whether each thing is "superior" or "inferior" to the other? Careful, my boy. You don't want to get caught in a circular argument.

I wonder why he's arguing the superiority of morality if he's gonna backpedal into relativism?

Immortality through technological means would be my chief goal.

Not looking forward to the afterlife, I take it.

Yup, looking up to an afterlife... if I was an atheist... Maybe soundsurfr believes in a god of atheism too...

[Darth Executor]

Whacko (he needs to tell us twice so we know for sure):

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...4&postcount=24

The fact is that GOD has changed his mind about soooo many things in the past. He's probably up in heaven now with a few chared pigeons and some of them virgin mindinites teaching his son "a few new tricks". God has completly forgot or changed his mind about the second coming. Since he's not the most detail oriented omnipotent god around he has never got around to updating his moral authority handbook.

[Darth Executor]

White Hype:

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh....php?p=1294596

It sure is easy for you and I to sit here and discuss these things on a computer, but I'd love to see your logic out in the mission field. I can see it now.

Darth Executor enters an African village. "HEY!" he screams. "Accept Christ, or face the consequences, pagans! Either give your life to Christ or die, cause I'm here to collect the shrunken heads of God's enemies for the sake of the kingdom!"

(Executor takes a spear through the heart.)

(Villagers mumbling amongst themselves)

Villager 1: What was he trying to say?

Villager 2: I don't know, but he wanted to kill us if we didn't accept his God.

Villager 3: Where did he get that crazy idea to talk to us like that?

Villager 4: I looked through his bookbag, and there's all these papers in here by someone named "James Patrick Holding." Wow, he must have really drank this guy's stuff in! Looks like here he's got the Holding Study Bible, whatever that is. Bah! We've got better stuff to do.



Real faithful and loving there bud, real faithful.

Btw JP, me and the other sycophants want to know when we're gonna go on another plunder campaign in Africa. I'm running out of money.

[Rayado]

VFarris, on that other message in the Gospels:

The Gospels are not about salvation thorough Jesus... never were... never will be...

[jpholding]

White Hype:

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh....php?p=1294596



Btw JP, me and the other sycophants want to know when we're gonna go on another plunder campaign in Africa. I'm running out of money.

We do need to start some classes to help people understand that Farrell Till et al is not a "mission field."

I'll send Bimf out to strongarm some people into buying WhiteHype Cookies.

[Darth Executor]

We do need to start some classes to help people understand that Farrell Till et al is not a "mission field."

I'll send Bimf out to strongarm some people into buying WhiteHype Cookies.

While I agree, he's actually well past that stage. He thinks I literally go out on mission fields and literally chop off heads.