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Thread: What should a married Christian do when not ready to have children?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Dragule View Post
    So like if a person can't have kids, birth defect, removed uterus, medication, whatever, they shouldn't even bother with marriage?
    Adopt.

    My understanding of 1 Cor 7:9 was that it was better to marry than to lust.
    And it is good to stay unmarried, as was Paul.

    But yes, I'd agree that one end of marriage is for the sexual desire to be fulfilled, but that's not the main end. The unity that copulation produces is meant to promote another end.

    The undergirding worldview is also very important. Nowadays (in the West) marriage, having been emptied of much of its prior significance and meaning, is often seen as merely another stage of the romantic relationship.
    Last edited by Paprika; 05-07-2015 at 10:44 PM.

  2. #22
    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    Adopt.

    And it is good to stay unmarried, as was Paul.

    But yes, I'd agree that one end of marriage is for the sexual desire to be fulfilled, but that's not the main end. The unity that copulation produces is meant to promote another end.
    Yes, it is good to stay unmarried but this is for the purpose of being freer to serve God. None-the-less, if your hand causes you to sin, cut it off, but not in the Northern African/African approach of mutilating genitalia.

    You did not answer about a couple that could produce offspring for adoption. You did not address if they could have children later on. You have not given much discussion to birth control and it's role (or lack of) in marriage.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    The undergirding worldview is also very important. Nowadays (in the West) marriage, having been emptied of much of its prior significance and meaning, is often seen as merely another stage of the romantic relationship.
    If marriage was sex, some of the posts here would sound Roman Catholic.
    Last edited by Ana Dragule; 05-07-2015 at 11:05 PM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Dragule View Post
    You did not answer about a couple that could produce offspring for adoption.
    I didn't because it should be pretty clear that giving up child for adoption should be only done when there's no other choice and shouldn't be in any way a normal process.

    You did not address if they could have children later on.
    Not sure what this means.

    You have not given much discussion to birth control and it's role (or lack of) in marriage.

    If marriage was sex, some of the posts here would sound Roman Catholic.
    Despite my other critiques of the Catholic Church I have great respect and admiration for the Popes for maintaining the ban against contraception, in spite of all the critique from the progressive culture, in spite of the internal Catholic revolt, and in spite of all the other major denominations deciding to go along with the flow.

    As to contraception I think it can be of proper use in a few limited situations, but it will only end up being terribly misused (look at the sexual anarchy in the West, for the love of all that is sacred) so it needs to be banned.

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    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    I didn't because it should be pretty clear that giving up child for adoption should be only done when there's no other choice and shouldn't be in any way a normal process.
    Well, when marriage is boiled down to reproductive activities... no, it's not clear.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    Not sure what this means.
    This means if they would be better off or more able to have kids down the line rather than in the near future. Like if they had a decent reason to not be ready to have kids.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    Despite my other critiques of the Catholic Church I have great respect and admiration for the Popes for maintaining the ban against contraception, in spite of all the critique from the progressive culture, in spite of the internal Catholic revolt, and in spite of all the other major denominations deciding to go along with the flow.
    Just admit it. You secretly want to become Coptic but the liturgy would be an adaptation.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    As to contraception I think it can be of proper use in a few limited situations, but it will only end up being terribly misused (look at the sexual anarchy in the West, for the love of all that is sacred) so it needs to be banned.
    The reckless use of the many prohibits the proper use of the few?
    I am become death...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Dragule View Post
    Well, when marriage is boiled down to reproductive activities... no, it's not clear.
    I said main end, not only end.

    This means if they would be better off or more able to have kids down the line rather than in the near future. Like if they had a decent reason to not be ready to have kids.
    OBP put it well: if one is "ready" to be married, then one should be "ready" for the natural consequences - i.e., children.

    Just admit it. You secretly want to become Coptic but the liturgy would be an adaptation.
    Also I don't want to move to Egypt.

    The reckless use of the many prohibits the proper use of the few?
    I'm going to use an analogy (TM): psychoactive drugs can be of proper [medicinal] use but hand them out like candy and you'll have abuse.

    But I'd be open to hearing suggestions on how you can allow it for strictly limited situations and not have them abused (ie. the normal human tendency to maximise carnal pleasure).

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    tWebber Ana Dragule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    I said main end, not only end.

    OBP put it well: if one is "ready" to be married, then one should be "ready" for the natural consequences - i.e., children.
    OBP also asked how that would change if it wasn't a matter of responsibility. I PMed him what I hope changes for me. (please feel free to pray it does)

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    Also I don't want to move to Egypt.
    You don't have to.

    Quote Originally Posted by Paprika View Post
    I'm going to use an analogy (TM): psychoactive drugs can be of proper [medicinal] use but hand them out like candy and you'll have abuse.

    But I'd be open to hearing suggestions on how you can allow it for strictly limited situations and not have them abused (ie. the normal human tendency to maximise carnal pleasure).
    What do you think can be proper use?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ana Dragule View Post
    OBP also asked how that would change if it wasn't a matter of responsibility. I PMed him what I hope changes for me. (please feel free to pray it does)
    Will do, though more details will be helpful.

    You don't have to.
    Just googled and apparently there are coptic churches here. I don't even know what they do though.

    What do you think can be proper use?
    When say you've already many children and further pregnancy is at risk of killing the mother.

    Also maybe not wanting to have too many children could be a valid scenario given that survival of children is much greater than in the past but I haven't reached a firm conclusion on that.

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    tWebber MaxVel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    What would that change?

    I'd forgotten about this thread...


    What about a Christian couple, both previously single, who marry when they're at an age where child-bearing is going to be increasingly hazardous to both mother and child's health?
    ...>>> Witty remark or snarky quote of another poster goes here <<<...

  9. #29
    Must...have...caffeine One Bad Pig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaxVel View Post
    I'd forgotten about this thread...


    What about a Christian couple, both previously single, who marry when they're at an age where child-bearing is going to be increasingly hazardous to both mother and child's health?
    Child-bearing is far less hazardous to the health of mother and child at any time of the mother's life now than it has ever been in the past.
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    Quote Originally Posted by One Bad Pig View Post
    Child-bearing is far less hazardous to the health of mother and child at any time of the mother's life now than it has ever been in the past.
    That doesn't seem to address my question. But never mind.
    ...>>> Witty remark or snarky quote of another poster goes here <<<...

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