To Worship or not to Worship [lead]?

[Jin-Roh]

Hey all.

As a few of you know, I'm going to Utah on a missions trip with a team from Azusa Pacific this summer. I am faced with the prospect of worship leading..... once again.

I actually said at some point "I don't lead worship" because this is how a feel about it. A couple years of angst and frustration climaxing in a major faith crisis will do that to you. If there is a "spiritual gift" that allows someone to be an effective (however it is we define that anyway) worship leader, I don't have it and I don't really care that I don't. It is really not me anymore, and I'm not sure if it ever was.

It may seem reactionary (and that's what I'm worried about it), but there are things about worship leading that turn me off to it. I feel its a performance that creates an emotional responce, and we call that emotional responce a "move of the spirit" or something similiar to that. Keep in mind, I came out of pentacostalism recently.

Yet since being at APU, I've been in the position of "music ministry." I sang in the school's premiere chior last year and got a lot of out. I realize that about half of the ministry is promoting the school, but there were times when it was good. There have been a few events connected with the Chior that made me feel like I was the one being ministered to and encouraged. I left that year with a more positive feeling towards God and I actually started playing my Classical Guitar again as a result.

Finally, I'm the only one out of team that has had formal musical training. Its been several years of guitar lessons, voice training for the last three semesters, and year's worth of theory before that. Additionally, I've been able to reflect critically on many issues about worship leading and some of my ministry classes could actually be very easily applicible to this situation. I feel like I'm Maximus when the Emperor asked him to the next ruler of Rome (see Gladiator). Maximus says "what? Me? No way." and the Emperor says, "that is why it must be you."

I've been mentioning this to many people around APU already. I really do need some help with this dillemma. I don't want to aviod doing it for the wrong reasons, but I don't want to do it if I'm not the type of person God would have do it.

Please give your thoughts and your prayers to this matter. I'm only really good at the former these days. Right now, I don't even trust that.

[Darth Executor]

If you don't want to do it, don't. Short of a burning bush, God won't come and tell you what to do and as far as I'm concerned, any spiritual leader who doesn't want to be one shouldn't be one.

[Jin-Roh]

If you don't want to do it, don't. Short of a burning bush, God won't come and tell you what to do and as far as I'm concerned, any spiritual leader who doesn't want to be one shouldn't be one.

But as a member of the mission team, should I not help out where I can? In otherwords, is there a sense of obligation in this situation?

[Ryokan]

But as a member of the mission team, should I not help out where I can? In otherwords, is there a sense of obligation in this situation?

See if anyone else is willing. If so, great! If not, bite the bullet and bring a public speaker next time.

[Darth Executor]

But as a member of the mission team, should I not help out where I can? In otherwords, is there a sense of obligation in this situation?

Not really. Leading worship (or most leadership positions for that matter) should not be a chore.

[Chytraeus]

I can tell you have put a lot of thought into this, and you have come to question a lot of things you once took for granted. That is an excellent mark of maturity.

For one thing, you noted that leading worship seemed to be a kind of emotional entertainment, trying to evoke an emotional response out of people, and you came to question the validity of that. Excellent, for that is precisely what is wrong with most worship leading these days. It is not that God want worship to be boring, for He would not have given us so much excellent music if He had. However, what happens in most so-called worship services is that people sit around and sing songs about how great they think God is, as though that was what He wanted to hear.

Worship was never meant to be about us trying to give things to God, it is about what God has given to us. He has given us His Son, who gave us His life so that we could be forgiven of all of our sins and live forever with God in heaven.

Since it seems that you are the one with all the skills to do this job, now you need to find the right music. Not more empty praise songs, but redemption songs, songs about Jesus. Rich Mullins wrote a number of good ones, not the least of which is his musical rendition of the Apostle's Creed. 2nd Chapter of Acts wrote a number of good songs about Jesus as well, and Twila Paris. Of course, a good old fashioned Hymn book would also be useful.

I think that if you choose such songs, you will find that leading worship will be more of a service to yourself than a chore. What made it a chore was trying to be the one doing something rather than the one having something done for him, and just expressing the joy of that service through song with others.

I hope this is some help. God be with you.

[Jin-Roh]

Rich Mullins wrote a number of good ones, not the least of which is his musical rendition of the Apostle's Creed. 2nd Chapter of Acts wrote a number of good songs about Jesus as well, and Twila Paris. Of course, a good old fashioned Hymn book would also be useful.

I'm not "in" with the current CCM scene. I've considered using "Holy, Holy, Holy" as a song because singing that song serves as a nice arbiter between LDS and Christians ("God in three persons, blessed Trinity"), was that kind of the line you were going with?

[luv1another]

Please give your thoughts and your prayers to this matter. I'm only really good at the former these days. Right now, I don't even trust that.

Jin,
worship leading isn't about performing its about singing from your love for God... it won't matter what songs you have if someone sings them from their heart to God. Worship is us worshipping God, giving HIM our adortation and love from our hearts... you can have a worship leader who is there for show and yet he/she may lead 10 people to God through that... God can and will use anyone even those whose worship is just empty words and the songs that may sound so empty to some can lead others into intimate worship.

I really think Jin, if you love God and you love music do it... not because of past experience but because you do love God and you can help others to worship in sincerity by setting that example... you may see amazing things happen by just being available and willing.

if you look in the bible many people who God used were those who didnt want to be used or didnt think they could be used... I kinda think personally God chooses these type of people because they are not full of pride and all the glory goes to God working through them

Jin, whatever you do, do what you do because you love God, do it out of the love he has shown you to be a blessing to others in someway

in the end it's your decision and you have to live with it

[Pilgrim]

I'm not "in" with the current CCM scene. I've considered using "Holy, Holy, Holy" as a song because singing that song serves as a nice arbiter between LDS and Christians ("God in three persons, blessed Trinity"), was that kind of the line you were going with?

Wouldn't matter if you were. Those are 80's groups with the exception of Rich Mullins.

Remember Kierkaggard's theater of worship. God is the audience, the preacher or music director is in the music pit and the congregatoin is on the state. Everything you do together is meant to be a peformance pleaseing to God which expresses your faith, love and devotion.

I find that a planned liturgical movement helps. In the Presbyterian Church we order it this way: Gathering Around the word (call to worship, opening hymn, corporate confession and pardon, Response of Joy) this is all to prepare us for the hearing of God's word; Proclaiming God's Word (Prayer for illumination, scripture readings, anthems and hymns, sermon) These are things that make God's word known to us;Responding to the Word (Offerings, prayers) These are things that are an immediate response to hearing God's word; Bearing The Word into The World (Hymn, Charge and blessing, Amen) These are things that prepare us to take what we have learned into the world outsie the church doors.

[robin]

Jin

I can see 2 sides to this:-

First - If you dont mind me asking, and of course there's no need to answer this publically, but is there something bigger you are struggling with at the moment? It seems a little like the devil is trying to convince you that you dont want to lead. Gos has obviously given you a gift of music. In your own quiet times, do you play or sing yourself? This shows whether you fall back on worship when you have no-one else watching or not. If you do then your heart is still for worship and you should press into it. I don't believe its wrong to, sometimes, do things because you should not because you want to. I'm sure no-one could disagree that they have gone into worship not wanting to but then actually having a really good time worshipping God. If you don't fall back on worship then maybe you should leave it for a while and work it out with God.

Second - I definately believe that God gives us gifts for times and seasons. Sometimes, especially as worship leaders (of which I am also one), we can assume that the gift is for ever once we receive it. A lot of the time this is true but not always, it maybe that God is telling you to put your gift aside for a time and then pick it up again when He says.

Whatever you do, make sure you are happy.

I think that's what I wanted to say!

In Christ
Robin

[Jin-Roh]

Jin

I can see 2 sides to this:-

First - If you dont mind me asking, and of course there's no need to answer this publically, but is there something bigger you are struggling with at the moment? It seems a little like the devil is trying to convince you that you dont want to lead.

I really don't think I need the assistance of the Devil to convince me that I don't want to lead.

God has obviously given you a gift of music.

Has he? Or is it just something I've always done? I don't think God is cosmically indifferent towards how I feel about that the matter, but I don't know if I would call it a "gift." I think that implies that God wants someone to do it for a specific reason. I.E. Those who have the Gift of Encouragement are ment to Encourage other believers.

In your own quiet times, do you play or sing yourself? This shows whether you fall back on worship when you have no-one else watching or not.

I sing only in practice rooms and in cars. Those are the only non-public times I sing. I do not worship the way you have described.

If you do then your heart is still for worship and you should press into it. I don't believe its wrong to, sometimes, do things because you should not because you want to. I'm sure no-one could disagree that they have gone into worship not wanting to but then actually having a really good time worshipping God. If you don't fall back on worship then maybe you should leave it for a while and work it out with God.

I've already "left it" for quite some time. Breaking that staus quo is what I'm faced with.

Second - I definately believe that God gives us gifts for times and seasons. Sometimes, especially as worship leaders (of which I am also one), we can assume that the gift is for ever once we receive it. A lot of the time this is true but not always, it maybe that God is telling you to put your gift aside for a time and then pick it up again when He says.

This is not something I've thought about.

[Chytraeus]

I'm not "in" with the current CCM scene. I've considered using "Holy, Holy, Holy" as a song because singing that song serves as a nice arbiter between LDS and Christians ("God in three persons, blessed Trinity"), was that kind of the line you were going with?

Yes. Also songs like "I've Been Redeemed" which are not only fun to sing, but they point out what Jesus did for us. "Jesus Loves Me" is much better than "Oh, How I Love Jesus", because it keeps the focus on God loving them. God is very peopel focused, a fact that modern American religion seems affraid to talk about. But let's face it, He loved us so much that He was willing to become one of us and then to die, because He loved us so much that He would rather go to hell for us than to live in heaven forever without us. That is really good news, so it just amazes me that modern worship songs spend so much time focused on what we think we are doing for God, how much we love Him, how great we think He is, how we worship and adore Him. Take the song, "Magesty" for instance. The song is all about us telling God how great He is. I suspect that He is much more aware of how great He is than we will ever be in this life, and He doesn't really get any kicks out of us telling Him about our limited view of how great He is. On the other hand, "Oh Precious Head Now Wounded" tells all about the love of God for us sinners who didn't deserve it, but got it anyway. Beautiful song.

"Holy, Holy, Holy" works because it is very doctrinal, but songs about Calvary are even better. Nearly all hymns can be done on guitar, and many hymnals today even have the chords printed above the bars. Give some of those old time hymns a try. The Doxology is another good one, and many people know it by heart. There are many good versions of Psalm 51, "Create In Me A Clean Heart." When it comes to modern music, I think that the KISS method works best, "Keep It Scripture, Silly." When you just set the Word of God to music, it is hard to go wrong.

[Chytraeus]

I really don't think I need the assistance of the Devil to convince me that I don't want to lead.



Has he? Or is it just something I've always done? I don't think God is cosmically indifferent towards how I feel about that the matter, but I don't know if I would call it a "gift." I think that implies that God wants someone to do it for a specific reason. I.E. Those who have the Gift of Encouragement are ment to Encourage other believers.



I sing only in practice rooms and in cars. Those are the only non-public times I sing. I do not worship the way you have described.



I've already "left it" for quite some time. Breaking that staus quo is what I'm faced with.



This is not something I've thought about.

As far as weather or not God wants you to do this, I probably agree with the popular consensus on this, but maybe not for the same reasons.

Each one of us has many vocations, callings from God to serve our neighbors. I am a Husband, Father, Neighbor, Student, Transportation Platton Leader, Teacher. How do I know that I am a teacher? Because I have a canny knack for teaching seemingly complicated things to simple minded people, showing that they really were not all that complicated to begin with. Do you have a calling, a vocation, to be a song leader? Well, you are musically talented, so you most likely do. Me, I can play the piano as long as no one, including me, tries to sing while I do so, so I could never lead worship in that way. You can with a guitar, so you have a vocation to play the guitar in a way that worships God by serving your neighbor. The people going on this trip want to be able to worship God while they are on the trip, and you are uniquely gifted to help them with that, therefore you owe it to your neighbors to do this, even if you do not necessarily feel great about doing it.

Is God indifferent to your feelings? Well, yes and no. Will God think any less of your service in this matter if you do it while wishing that you weren't? Not in the least. Doing something grudgingly is no more of a sin than doing something willingly because you like the attention, rather than because you enjoy serving your neighbor. No one would think less of a mother who grudgingly gets out of bed in the middle of the night to feed and change her baby's diaper. We all know that even though she grumbles the whole way through that she is doing this because she loves her baby.

So the question is, do you love the "neighbors" who are going on this trip enough to set aside your feelings about leading them in worship so you can do the job in service to them? My guess is that you do, since you are struggeling with this. Your struggles are because you have done this job in a bad way and with wrong motives in the past, and you feel bad about that. That is no reason to quit doing it. If a doctor wakes up one day and realizes that he went into medicine just to make a lot of money and he feels badly about that, he would be doing none of his patients a service to close his office later that day. Instead, he needs to work on his attitude and purpose, and keep doing the job that God has called him to do.

Now, one other thing to be careful about. Leading others in worship is no more spiritual than any of the other, more mundane vocations people have. God calls people to lead in worship with their musical talents, while He calls others to help pour asphalt and make roads. Some people are called to work within the church and worship, while others are called to work in the secular fields, but all of them are called by God. God has famers, pastors, cooks, musicians, and even a beer brewer or two. Paul spoke of "spiritual gifts." My favorite, because it is easy to spot, is the gift of "giving". You can tell when someone has this gift by looking at the kind of car they drive to church. If they drive a Chevy Aveo, they probably do not excell in this gift. But if they drive a brand new Cadilac, they mostly likely have it, and are probably abusing it. If one's income exceeds his needed outflow, then he has the gift of giving.

All of the gifts are as unexciting and seemingly unspiritual as that. I have the gift of the gab, so I feel I have been called to be a pastor, because they talk alot. My dad has the gift of making and fixing things, he is very good with his hands, so that is his vocation. For many years, until he retired, he repaired printing presses for the largest producer of Bibles, religious books, and school books in the world. There were many days he did not feel his job was very spiritual, but each time I buy a book for a class that was printed by R. & R. Donnely and Sons, I think of my dad, covered in grease and ink, putting one of those big presses back together. People all over the world read Bibles that were printed and bound on machines that he kept running. And when I drink a tall, cool, fermented malt beverage, I thank God for the fine craftmanship and the hard work of those wonderful people up in Michigan.

However, God does want you to learn to take joy in each of your vocations. The beginning of that joy is in seeing the vocation as a gift from God, and an opportunity to work out with fear and trembling the salvation that He has worked into your heart through grace and mercy. May the love of God, the peace of Jesus Christ, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit, abide with you, my brother. Amen.

[Jin-Roh]

Well thanks for the thoughts. Chytraeus and others. I still have plenty of time to consider, but will likely do some worship leading when called upon.