I thought about posting this on Facebook but I'm a bit scared to right now so I thought it might be safer to post it here....
With all the rage over Friday's decision on SSM, I thought I would give my two cents on the issue....
I'm a Christian, I would consider myself devout, but I have a dark secret that I guess isn't going to be a secret anymore. Only the closest people to me to know this about me. I'm a bisexual. I didn't realize this until high school. In middle school I used to be addicted to pornography and the porn I looked at was of women. When I became a Christian at 14 years old, I quit looking at pornography. I got bullied a lot and got called gay a lot, but I never thought I was actually gay because even though I got turned on by looking at female pornography, I was still very much boy crazy. I always knew homosexuality was wrong though. I would some times have lesbian dreams and that was difficult as a Christian. When I got into high school, the one I graduated from, most of the students were either bisexual, gay/lesbian, or plain old having sex, but mostly bisexual. I got exposed to the gay lifestyle quite a bit in that school. I remember when I saw some of my classmates who were girls, I thought things I didn't want to think. I had convictions as a Christian that told me not to think that way, but it was very hard since I was surrounded by students who thought that way except for when I went to youth group at church. I remember being asked to join the Straight Gay Alliance at school and I told them I couldn't because I believed it was wrong. But I attended one of their meetings just out of curiosity. They asked, "On a scale of 1-10 how gay are you? 1 being straight 10 being completely gay." At the time I rated myself a three and it shocked everyone in the room. Looking back, I was probably more of a 4.5 and the older I got, the higher the number grew. Even after I got married the number grew. Going by the same scale I'd say the highest it's ever been is between a 6.5 or a seven. It's been embarrassing. When I realized in high school that I might be bisexual, I remember asking my mom if her and my dad would disown me if I turned out to be bisexual. She told me no. I later confessed to my dad I was bisexual and he didn't believe me, he actually laughed at the notion I was bisexual because I used to be so boy crazy! He never knew or understood the inner turmoil I had, the struggle I had when I saw certain girls and I can tell you, I know exactly how guys feel when it comes to how women dress. I have to look away at times because it gets my mind thinking things I need to not think about. It's only been within the past couple months things have been getting better with my bisexuality. I would rate myself now more of a five. But it's been a tough journey. I've had to pray hard for it and still have to pray for it. There have been times I've been put in situations where I had to cry out to God for help or so help me I was going to act out and do something I was going to regret later on. Why do I share this embarrassing story of my life? First, to give some people a glimpse of what this kind of life is like, what a struggle it is. But I mostly tell you to tell you this: Just because I'm bisexual, doesn't mean I support SSM. Homosexuality is wrong and if you are a homosexual you can CHOOSE NOT to live that lifestyle. I know you might be thinking, "You don't know what it's like! You go both ways! You can still be considered straight!" I may be attracted to the opposite sex as much as I'm attracted to the same sex, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. I can still do wrong. I can cheat on my husband with the opposite or same sex and it would be just as wrong!
Romans 1:24-32
24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
We are aware that Torah is not for a person who is righteous, but for those who are heedless of Torah and rebellious, ungodly and sinful, wicked and worldly, for people who kill their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral - both heterosexual and homosexual - slave dealers, liars, perjurers, and anyone who acts contrary to the sound teaching that accords with the Good News of the glorious and blessed God.
1 Timothy 1:9-11
I'm prepared to lose friends and family because I don't stand for SSM. I'm also prepared to get called, "You're not really bisexual because you can't change!" Maybe, maybe I won't be able to fully change what I am, that's up to God whether I fully change or not. If he decides I'm not going to struggle with being a bisexual anymore then hallelujah! That's one less sin in my life out of all the other trashy sins I do! But I'm going to stand my ground and I'm not going to give in to what society thinks "love" is. I know what love is and love died for me and rose again. Love gave me life. Love saved me from the jaws of death twice! Homosexuality? That ain't love, that's worldly lust that comes straight from the pits of hell. Are you born with it? We're all born with sin, some more prone to certain sin than others, but that's no excuse. One may be born to be more prone to murder, but you don't give that person a pass to murder. Homosexuality is the same deal. They're both immoral and unethical. So go ahead, call me whatever names you want. Flame me all you want. But I'm standing for what's righteous.
With all the rage over Friday's decision on SSM, I thought I would give my two cents on the issue....
I'm a Christian, I would consider myself devout, but I have a dark secret that I guess isn't going to be a secret anymore. Only the closest people to me to know this about me. I'm a bisexual. I didn't realize this until high school. In middle school I used to be addicted to pornography and the porn I looked at was of women. When I became a Christian at 14 years old, I quit looking at pornography. I got bullied a lot and got called gay a lot, but I never thought I was actually gay because even though I got turned on by looking at female pornography, I was still very much boy crazy. I always knew homosexuality was wrong though. I would some times have lesbian dreams and that was difficult as a Christian. When I got into high school, the one I graduated from, most of the students were either bisexual, gay/lesbian, or plain old having sex, but mostly bisexual. I got exposed to the gay lifestyle quite a bit in that school. I remember when I saw some of my classmates who were girls, I thought things I didn't want to think. I had convictions as a Christian that told me not to think that way, but it was very hard since I was surrounded by students who thought that way except for when I went to youth group at church. I remember being asked to join the Straight Gay Alliance at school and I told them I couldn't because I believed it was wrong. But I attended one of their meetings just out of curiosity. They asked, "On a scale of 1-10 how gay are you? 1 being straight 10 being completely gay." At the time I rated myself a three and it shocked everyone in the room. Looking back, I was probably more of a 4.5 and the older I got, the higher the number grew. Even after I got married the number grew. Going by the same scale I'd say the highest it's ever been is between a 6.5 or a seven. It's been embarrassing. When I realized in high school that I might be bisexual, I remember asking my mom if her and my dad would disown me if I turned out to be bisexual. She told me no. I later confessed to my dad I was bisexual and he didn't believe me, he actually laughed at the notion I was bisexual because I used to be so boy crazy! He never knew or understood the inner turmoil I had, the struggle I had when I saw certain girls and I can tell you, I know exactly how guys feel when it comes to how women dress. I have to look away at times because it gets my mind thinking things I need to not think about. It's only been within the past couple months things have been getting better with my bisexuality. I would rate myself now more of a five. But it's been a tough journey. I've had to pray hard for it and still have to pray for it. There have been times I've been put in situations where I had to cry out to God for help or so help me I was going to act out and do something I was going to regret later on. Why do I share this embarrassing story of my life? First, to give some people a glimpse of what this kind of life is like, what a struggle it is. But I mostly tell you to tell you this: Just because I'm bisexual, doesn't mean I support SSM. Homosexuality is wrong and if you are a homosexual you can CHOOSE NOT to live that lifestyle. I know you might be thinking, "You don't know what it's like! You go both ways! You can still be considered straight!" I may be attracted to the opposite sex as much as I'm attracted to the same sex, but that doesn't make it any easier for me. I can still do wrong. I can cheat on my husband with the opposite or same sex and it would be just as wrong!
Romans 1:24-32
24 Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, 25 because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.
26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error.
28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, 31 foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. 32 Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.
We are aware that Torah is not for a person who is righteous, but for those who are heedless of Torah and rebellious, ungodly and sinful, wicked and worldly, for people who kill their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral - both heterosexual and homosexual - slave dealers, liars, perjurers, and anyone who acts contrary to the sound teaching that accords with the Good News of the glorious and blessed God.
1 Timothy 1:9-11
I'm prepared to lose friends and family because I don't stand for SSM. I'm also prepared to get called, "You're not really bisexual because you can't change!" Maybe, maybe I won't be able to fully change what I am, that's up to God whether I fully change or not. If he decides I'm not going to struggle with being a bisexual anymore then hallelujah! That's one less sin in my life out of all the other trashy sins I do! But I'm going to stand my ground and I'm not going to give in to what society thinks "love" is. I know what love is and love died for me and rose again. Love gave me life. Love saved me from the jaws of death twice! Homosexuality? That ain't love, that's worldly lust that comes straight from the pits of hell. Are you born with it? We're all born with sin, some more prone to certain sin than others, but that's no excuse. One may be born to be more prone to murder, but you don't give that person a pass to murder. Homosexuality is the same deal. They're both immoral and unethical. So go ahead, call me whatever names you want. Flame me all you want. But I'm standing for what's righteous.
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