Tweet
People sometimes ask me what depression is like. I say... imagine the way you feel when you wake up on a monday, and you have trouble getting out of bed. That's how depressions starts out, that feeling, all the time, and then it gets worse and worse...
Anticipating questions and advice: I'm on meds right now, and yes I've talked to people and I can reach out to them.
Some people, obnoxious, proud and clueless, will mention that they have periods where they're sad as well. Yeah... sad... but you've got a wife, three kids and a job, and you manage to take care of all them. The day when getting into a shower, and taking the bus downtown are actions that seem almost impossible to you, even though your wife is pushing you along, then you can talk about having experienced something like depression. But maybe that was just a bad day. If it was depression it would be like that all week. And then it gets worse.
I pray to God about it, and join my suffering to Christ's. Just because I'm sad it does not mean I can't rejoice in God. But its given me a new perspective on joy. True joy is not a feeling, its a virtue, the feeling can accompany the virtue, but the virtue can exist without the feeling. I praise God in the morning for His goodness, and in the evening. If anyone thinks praise is incompatible with unhappiness, read the saints, or read the psalms from the Bible. And if you believe otherwise, you're in need of learning, a dose of humility, or perhaps you might need to become depressed as well to learn this lesson. I knew it before I got depressed, and its given me comfort knowing this.
You know what the worst thing about depression is? You can't cure it. It can disappear over a long period of time, or it can get worse.
And if you've ever had depression more than once, you will likely have another depression again, and again for the rest of your life.
I can't say I'm happy being depressed. (Joke) However I do think this is God's will for me. I've prayed to be cured of it, many times, and I continue to do so, but I think its His will that I carry this cross. Therefore I can be at peace with it, and it will get better eventually. It already has in many ways. But I'm far from being myself again. I'm me... six months out of the year. The rest of the time I'm cranky, aggressive (side-effects of depression... you don't have any surpluss so your fuse is short, everything becomes annoying as well and nothing feels good and really satisfying...)
Did I mention insomnia? Yay.
Anticipating questions and advice: I'm on meds right now, and yes I've talked to people and I can reach out to them.
Some people, obnoxious, proud and clueless, will mention that they have periods where they're sad as well. Yeah... sad... but you've got a wife, three kids and a job, and you manage to take care of all them. The day when getting into a shower, and taking the bus downtown are actions that seem almost impossible to you, even though your wife is pushing you along, then you can talk about having experienced something like depression. But maybe that was just a bad day. If it was depression it would be like that all week. And then it gets worse.
I pray to God about it, and join my suffering to Christ's. Just because I'm sad it does not mean I can't rejoice in God. But its given me a new perspective on joy. True joy is not a feeling, its a virtue, the feeling can accompany the virtue, but the virtue can exist without the feeling. I praise God in the morning for His goodness, and in the evening. If anyone thinks praise is incompatible with unhappiness, read the saints, or read the psalms from the Bible. And if you believe otherwise, you're in need of learning, a dose of humility, or perhaps you might need to become depressed as well to learn this lesson. I knew it before I got depressed, and its given me comfort knowing this.
You know what the worst thing about depression is? You can't cure it. It can disappear over a long period of time, or it can get worse.
And if you've ever had depression more than once, you will likely have another depression again, and again for the rest of your life.
I can't say I'm happy being depressed. (Joke) However I do think this is God's will for me. I've prayed to be cured of it, many times, and I continue to do so, but I think its His will that I carry this cross. Therefore I can be at peace with it, and it will get better eventually. It already has in many ways. But I'm far from being myself again. I'm me... six months out of the year. The rest of the time I'm cranky, aggressive (side-effects of depression... you don't have any surpluss so your fuse is short, everything becomes annoying as well and nothing feels good and really satisfying...)
Did I mention insomnia? Yay.
Comment