December 2006 Screwballs of the Month

[Darth Executor]

Err, nevermind. That could be taken the wrong way.

[jpholding]

Good night these people are stupid.

http://www.teens-4-christ.org/board/...showtopic=4728

I was reading a topic on another board, and basically the question was, “Is it ok to hold hands with my boyfriend.” So, what does the Bible have to say about this?

No. It's not ok to hold hands. The bible says that men aren't supposed to touch women.

1Co 7:1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman.

I think that goes for men and women.

I think someone doesn't know that Paul is quoting a Corinthian position back to his readers/hearers.

Adultery, fornication and lust are clearly forbidden. These are the fruit of a dating couple touching.

If touching (holding hands, kissing, or whatever) does not do something for you, why do you do it? When I touch my wife, it does something for me!


It is good for a man not to touch a woman. This is the absolute best: the simple fact, as we have discussed, is that when a man touches a woman, it does something to him. It stirs a desire for more physical contact - that desire, unless it is within marriage, between a husband and wife, is illegitimate. We call it lust. There are occasions when it is not lustful. For example, a grandma type giving you a hug, or shaking hands at an appropriate time.

I started reading this topic last night and before I went to bed I did some studying and here is what I found.

I Corinthians 7:1
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.

I got out the Websters Dictionary and looked up "not" and "touch". Here are the meanings.

Not- a word expressing denial and negation.
Now....I got interested in what those words meant and here is what they meant.

Denial- the act of saying no.
Negation- the act of saying no.

Touch- to be, or to come in contact with, handle, gently or slightly.

That verse says "It is good for a man NOT to TOUCH a woman.

NOT (saying no) to TOUCH
The Bible does say NO to TOUCH in I Corinthains 7:1

Scripture was not taken out of context here.

The good news is, these people are so scared of sex that they probably won't breed....

I think if I showed up there I'd get banned in...what? 10 minutes?

Oh wait! Someone with some intelligence showed up...

I didn't have to look long before I started noticing a pattern among most commentators concerning 1 Corinthians 7:1. Every commentary I've seen so far agrees that the phrase "touch a woman" is an idiom. For those of you who don't know what that means, it means "figure of speech". As we all know, the Bible uses the phrase "knew his wife" as an idiom for sexual intercourse. Likewise, the phrase "touch a woman" was an idiom for sexual intercourse, or touching sexually (I won't go into details). This phrase, at least not according to the Bible scholars, is not talking about holding hands, hugging, or even the occasional affectionate peck on the cheek. I hate to sound like a relativist, but speaking from personal experience, I do not consider these things to be sexual, not even in the slightest.

But nope....

If, in a romantic relationship, holding hands, kissing, etc. is not sexual, then why do it? I go back to the simple fact that those things either do something for you, or you are dead. Otherwise, why do it? The first time you hold hands, you are awkward, but you quickly notice that you like holding her hand. Soon, you and she are comfortable with it, so holding hands progresses to an arm around the shoulder. That too is awkward at first, uncomfortable, but it's really nice. Hey - I will be the first to admit: ladies are addictive! I am certainly addicted to my wife! From there, the hands begin to go other places. Kisses are exchanged. The physical relationship progresses. This is how God designed it to be. It starts with the first romantic touch - holding hands. What you are not admitting is that holding hands is a form of sexual contact.

There are commentators out there who will claim that the blood of Christ is no different than mine. There are commentators who claim that it does not matter what Bible you read. I can even find scholars who will say that Christ did not rise from the dead. Regardless of who they are, or what they say, when the commentator disagrees with the Word of God, the commentator is in error. Pure and simple.

What....an....IDIOT.

[Cynic Sage]

Narnian's (aka Rainbow) essay on Zorathustrian influence on the Abrahmic religions (which she says was a college assignment of hers) has an interesting Bibliography:

http://www.faithfreedom.org/forum/vi...=469828#469828

Bibliography.
NIV
The Message
NRSV
Strongs NAS Lexicon crosswalk.com
R.E. Freidman Who Wrote The Bible
The Avesta Mobed Firouz Azargoshasb’s translation
The Magi: From Zoroaster to the "Three Wise Men"
Ray Embry The Enigma About Divine Love and the Creation of Evil: The Lost Belief Among Early Christians About a God of Total Compassion
Marcion The Antithesis
Wikipedia
Ray Embry on Baptists; http://www.sullivan-county.com/id2/marcion.htm

[Darth Executor]

I think someone doesn't know that Paul is quoting a Corinthian position back to his readers/hearers.

I also thought that "touch" referred to sex, not holding hands.

[jpholding]

Email correspondent nominates this site:

http://forchrist-contramundum.blogspot.com/

[Cynic Sage]

Email correspondent nominates this site:

http://forchrist-contramundum.blogspot.com/

I agree with the link. The Jews are behind alot of things. They might even have had a hand in the formation of Christianity.

[Mountain Man]

Edit: Nomination withdrawn because I apparently can't read today.

[technomage]

A screwball for Zeluvia who wrote:


I guess he's never heard of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Um, MM, are you aware that Zeluvia is referencing a time before the dead sea scrolls?

[Mountain Man]

Um, MM, are you aware that Zeluvia is referencing a time before the dead sea scrolls?

Hmmm...I saw "BC" but read it as "AD". Oops.

[Frogwarrior]

I nominate Mountain Man for his botched screwball nomination.

[Meta Knight]

I nominate Mountain Man for his botched screwball nomination.

I saw that coming a mile away...

[jpholding]

Reader wesbite nomination:

http://www.libertytothecaptives.net/

[Darth Executor]

Nomination for certain staff at Disney World.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236796,00.html

"They told me I either needed to alter my appearance or I needed to leave the park because I was impersonating Santa Claus. They told us that Santa was considered a Disney character,' said Worley.

[jpholding]

DJ's blog, as usual, a Screwball mine:

http://debunkingchristianity.blogspo...errantist.html

Useful idiot dagoodS shows his ignorance of, among other things, usage of dual names in first century culture.

Levi/Matthew

The explanation given is that Levi and Matthew were the same person. The authors just used different names....

Or is it more plausible that Levi and Matthew were the same, and the author of Matthew failed to note the alternative names. The author of Mark failed to note the alternative names. And the author of Luke failed to note the alternative names.

Dum dum sets the expectation arbitraily ("duh, authors would HAVE to note the alternative names!") and then whines when it isn't met. He claims that "[t]he authors of the Gospels display a propensity to list dual names, when known" and picks examples of no relevance, mixing together family identity markers such as "son of" (which is NOT an example of a "dual name" as "Simon Peter" is) and other inapplicable material with what are truly dual names (only ONE!).



DJ....please tame your circus.

DJ also earns his usual award for posting the same crap there as he did here, while ignoring the rebuttals put to him here.

[lilpixieofterror]

I found this screwball blog entry while surfing yahoo:

Once upon a time, God was spending eternity floating in a void. He found that he had a bunch of special powers, and that he could manipulate quantum mechanics and sub atomic particles. He also found that he could play with relativity and with gravity. From there he started experimenting. During a good part of eternity, through trial and error found out the relationships and reactions between time, light, matter, gravity, etc. he made nebulas, galaxies, stars, and solar systems. All this time wondering why he was created and he wondered where all of the things that he was manipulating, including himself, came from. If there was a greater intelligent being outside of his existence and his experience and beyond his universe. There had to be something there for god to create things in. If god created everything including himself, dimensions and time; then, how would god have the time to create time?

http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-9rDlk...szFNyqBIrXD0un

I found that to be quite a laugh... I always thought that Christians say that God is NOT part of the unverse...

Crystal