Wiccan weddings?

[Storico]

Hi there!

I thought I'd wander over and pick your brains.

A friend of mine is marrying a wiccan guy either this summer or early this coming autumn, and they're having two ceremonies -- one at city hall to keep my friend's parents happy and another with friends. That one is going to be more "wiccan oriented". I tried googling "wiccan weddings", but I couldn't find a heck of a lot. I'm not sure how many people who follow Wicca actually have a religious-based wedding like that... it doesn't seem to be very prevalent here. (The few married people I know who are also wiccan said they either got a UU minister to do the wedding, or that they kept it very secular.) I know my friend and her fiance want a priestess to do the ceremony, and that there are a few rituals involved in the ceremony.

Does anyone have any knowledge of what goes on, exactly? Is it more formulaic or personalized? Also, is there something a guest could bring or send (aside from a normal wedding gift) that would welcome the two of them to marriage while being of importance to his faith? (I'm thinking some kind of symbol, or artwork, or some sort of picture I could draw or paint)

Thanks!

[James Peter]

I'm pretty sure that its fair to say that it depends entirely on the couple and their own particular traditions. I guess its like asking what a 'Christian Wedding' involves - there are very few features that you will find in all Christian weddings (if you look across national boundaries).

[Durthorin]

Don't look for the word wedding, look for Handfasting. I've been to three and my High Priestess presided at one.

http://www.handfasting.info/index.html

If you want more, google for handfasting ritual and you should find plenty..

See also http://www.uuottawa.com/paganweddingsmain.htm

[Storico]

James Peter - true enough, every wedding IS different. But at every "Christian" wedding, you can be pretty sure a Christian religious authority will be present, scripture will be read and prayers will be said, even if they aren't all the same at every wedding. Still, it's a good point.

Durthorin -- thank you! Ack! I knew the word handfasting, it just didn't somehow.. click... heh. Thanks for the link. I'll check it out. Edit: oooh, thanks for the second link too!

[Durthorin]

James Peter - true enough, every wedding IS different. But at every "Christian" wedding, you can be pretty sure a Christian religious authority will be present, scripture will be read and prayers will be said, even if they aren't all the same at every wedding. Still, it's a good point.

Durthorin -- thank you! Ack! I knew the word handfasting, it just didn't somehow.. click... heh. Thanks for the link. I'll check it out. Edit: oooh, thanks for the second link too!

No big. One thing I have found is that the "double" wedding seems to be fairly common among Pagans. One Christian or Justice of the Peace type for the family.. and then a more spirtual meaningful one for Pagan and Pagan-freindly friends and family. I've heard stories of one where the bride came out of the broom closet for her wedding.. It was outdoors in a Stone Circle with all the bells and whistles.. her side of the family was Southern Baptist and showed up wearing HUGE crosses around there necks... <shakes head> Gotta wonder..

[Storico]

No big. One thing I have found is that the "double" wedding seems to be fairly common among Pagans. One Christian or Justice of the Peace type for the family.. and then a more spirtual meaningful one for Pagan and Pagan-freindly friends and family. I've heard stories of one where the bride came out of the broom closet for her wedding.. It was outdoors in a Stone Circle with all the bells and whistles.. her side of the family was Southern Baptist and showed up wearing HUGE crosses around there necks... <shakes head> Gotta wonder..

Heh, were they trying to ward off evil stone circle spirits or something? Next time we should give them garlic to carry, too..

Although I AM wondering about the broom closet... hmm...

[Durthorin]

Heh, were they trying to ward off evil stone circle spirits or something? Next time we should give them garlic to carry, too..

Although I AM wondering about the broom closet... hmm...

Actually they were.. a person at the wedding was smudging them with sage as they entered the circle and sprinkling them with salt and water as well. (its meant to purify negative influences) An they sort of freaked until it was explained to them.. But they seemed to be under them impression there was going to be a baby sacrefice followed by an orgy..

Broom Closet=A Pagan who is not public in their faith. Sort of taken from gays using the phrase "in the closet". A Pagan in the Broom Closet may not be out even to his/her family. Personally, tho I don't know the girl coming out for your wedding seems like something I would consider bad form.. But thats just me, your family is already dealing with enough with you getting married as are you. An I've heard of those doing something like this gettingt he reaction of the Christian family members refusing to attend a "Satanic Ritual."

[Storico]

Actually they were.. a person at the wedding was smudging them with sage as they entered the circle and sprinkling them with salt and water as well. (its meant to purify negative influences) An they sort of freaked until it was explained to them.. But they seemed to be under them impression there was going to be a baby sacrefice followed by an orgy..

Broom Closet=A Pagan who is not public in their faith. Sort of taken from gays using the phrase "in the closet". A Pagan in the Broom Closet may not be out even to his/her family. Personally, tho I don't know the girl coming out for your wedding seems like something I would consider bad form.. But thats just me, your family is already dealing with enough with you getting married as are you. An I've heard of those doing something like this gettingt he reaction of the Christian family members refusing to attend a "Satanic Ritual."

I'd never heard the "broom closet" thing before. Cute.

It's amazing, the inaccurate perceptions people can pick up just because they feel the least bit threatened. With my friend's wedding, I'm looking forward to it. They're both great people, very fun, interesting, friendly. I'm not sure if her parents will be there for that one (the handfasting) or not.... she just said they'd be at the courthouse with them. Her parents aren't religious at all, either, they're just pretty conservative and decent people, but the more uppity sort and religious ceremonies that aren't half-familiar make them nervous.

[penguinlove07]

I would be happy to have a inter-faith wedding if I marry a non-Wiccan, as long as both faiths are respected.

[CamyCamy]

One of my friends is Wiccan and I can give you a little insight. It's an Earth based religion celebrating the elements Earth, Air, Fire and Water. Weddings are typically performed by a High Priest or High Priestess. As far as a wedding gift, you might want to stick to something "natural"--maybe incorporating crystal or a pentacle---which is thought to protect the Wiccan from trouble.

[Freya]

My wife and I had a simple ceremony with some friends in a forest clearing. Since the gov't doesn't see us getting married as legal, we didn't get anyone to officiate. We exchanged some vows we wrote and some poetry we liked, then had an outdoor reception and bit of a party in the clearing which went until about 3AM.. Then we went home to grab some sleep before we went on our honeymoon• Edited by a Moderator •

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