March 2007 Screwballs of the Month

[jpholding]

stevec for TWeb Noob award....proceed from there....

[jpholding]

Aw, look at this cutie pie email....it's in response to my article on the Treaty of Tripoli....

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of Flub?

You've got to be kidding!

You are so full of ****!

One nation under god – Iran!

Maybe you should move to Iran if theocracy is your pleasure.

I just love these detailed, direct answers, don't you? Now I'm convinced that Washington signed that thing after all.

[Darth Executor]

Get him on tweb and have him vote for me.

[Sparko]

OK just a notice to SteveC -

Moderated By: Sparko

DO NOT CONTINUE TO DEBATE IN THIS THREAD STEVEC. Your previous debate in last month's screwball thread was moved to its own thread located here: http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...ad.php?t=93332

***If you wish to take issue with this notice DO NOT do so in this thread.***
Contact the forum moderator or an administrator in Private Message or email instead. If you feel you must publically complain or whine, please take it to the Psychotherapy Room unless told otherwise.

[jpholding]

Reader sends a nomination:

****

Here's another crazy end-times group's prophecy that nucular (that's the way he
pronounces it) war would start on 9-12-2006:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sjf4ELVeX8

After that date passed uneventfully, they had the gall to say that it had been
fulfilled, it just wasn't finished yet:
http://yisraylhawkins.com/Articles.a...icle=10022.htm

I'd say that one's at least worth silver.

[jpholding]

Another email from the "Computers Should Not Write EMails" Department....

Dear Tektonics,

We are DankeDankeCom Ltd. International Shipping Service
(http://www.dankedanke.com).
We are providing international shipping solutions to people
buying on the internet from Japan, receiving and forwarding
their shoppings, a worthy service in a country where even big
shops do not send abroad.

Initially, most of our customers were Japanese nationals living
abroad, but the increase of requests from other nationals has led
us to offer our services in English as well. As of today, we have
around 10,000 registered members from all over the world.

Seeing similarities in both our customers' interests, I would
like to offer you to exchange banners or links.
We are constantly looking for people interested in Japan and
Japanese goods, and our links page is visited by many of our
customers, all of them in a way or the other interested in Japan
and Japanese culture. If you are interested, please fill in the
information below:

The Spanish real estate one was funnier....

[Rayado]

Yisrael Hawkins? He's the leader of the House of Yahweh group down in Texas.

[Philosophickle]

Reader sends a nomination:

****

Here's another crazy end-times group's prophecy that nucular (that's the way he
pronounces it) war would start on 9-12-2006:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Sjf4ELVeX8

After that date passed uneventfully, they had the gall to say that it had been
fulfilled, it just wasn't finished yet:
http://yisraylhawkins.com/Articles.a...icle=10022.htm

I'd say that one's at least worth silver.

Apparently, it was a "nuclear baby."

http://yisraylhawkins.com/PDF/11-06NL.pdf

[Pate]

From Infidels.org forums:

There is already an ossuary with the name of Jesus on it [referring to the James' ossuary].

The readiness with which Christians siezed upon that as being THE Jesus (if it was a genuine ossuary from 2,000 years ago, is matched only be the speed with which they decry the latest ossuary as being THE Jesus , although the ossuary is almost certainly genuine.

[The Curtmudgeon]

From Infidels.org forums:

There is already an ossuary with the name of Jesus on it [referring to the James' ossuary].

The readiness with which Christians siezed upon that as being THE Jesus (if it was a genuine ossuary from 2,000 years ago, is matched only be the speed with which they decry the latest ossuary as being THE Jesus , although the ossuary is almost certainly genuine.

Well, he is after all correct -- we can be almost certain that it is genuinely an ossuary.

The (or else it's a stone bread-basket) Curtmudgeon

[OldManZangetsu]

Originally posted by Steven Carr
There is already an ossuary with the name of Jesus on it [referring to the James' ossuary].

The readiness with which Christians siezed upon that as being THE Jesus (if it was a genuine ossuary from 2,000 years ago, is matched only be the speed with which they decry the latest ossuary as being THE Jesus , although the ossuary is almost certainly genuine.

Did anyone bother to tell him why he's a dufas? Just curious.

Well, he is after all correct -- we can be almost certain that it is genuinely an ossuary.

[The Curtmudgeon]

Not quite sure this even rates a Bronze Screwie (what's below that -- Aluminium?), but in an article about the Re-establishment Sanhedrin which now wants to re-establish animal sacrifices on the Temple Mount (no, I'm not nominating them, but I don't care if someone else wants to), I nominate Rabbi Doniel Hartman for this:

www.jpost.com

Other rabbis point out that ritual animal sacrifice has been banned since the destruction of the Second Temple in A.D. 70.

"Around that time, animal sacrifice, as a mode of religious worship, stopped for Jews, Christians and Muslims," said Rabbi Doniel Hartman of the Shalom Hartman Institute in Jerusalem. "Moving back in that direction is not progress."

© source where applicable

Considering that Christians have never practiced animal sacrifice, and that Muslims wouldn't even exist for another six centuries from AD 70, this ought to get him a Double-Dip Screwie.

The (it's no longer just the Irish that won't let facts stand in the way of a "good" story) Curtmudgeon

[Sparko]

Scruffy, the ultimate in religious relativity:

When are Christians going to realize that the true biography of Jesus (if there was a historical Jesus) was overlaid with ancient mythology at a later date? None of it should be taken literally. There was no literal resurrection. It's symbolic. Symbolic of powerful inner potentialities.Take a college class in comparative mythology or something.

Every religion and mythology is true - as metaphorical of the human and cosmic mystery. But if a religion gets dogmatically trapped in it's own metaphors and symbols...interpreting them as historical literal fact, then it's in trouble. Yes, exoteric Christianity has been in trouble for a long, long time.

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...3&postcount=55

So basically all religions are true but what Christians believe is wrong.

[OldManZangetsu]

I had always thought of John Powell as an intelligent person, but perhaps I haven't read enough from him to know for sure. J.P., what's up with this?

OldManZangetsu:
I think the more important question to ask would be, "If these 'extraordinary claims' did not have 'extraordinary evidence' to back them up, how did these claims not kill Christianity in it's early stages, given the type of culture it was birthed in?"

POWELL:
Because the culture was a gullible one.

http://www.theologyweb.com/campus/sh...t=93274&page=3

[Darth Executor]

Has this guy been nominated before?

http://www.davidicke.com/index.php/