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This forum is to remember all friends and family who passed from this earth. We were lucky to know them, let us encourage one another with their memories.
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A tribute

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  • A tribute

    So difficult to believe Mom has been gone for 8 years. My heart still aches with missing her, although the pain has eased to a bittersweet tug. I know she is Home. I know she is healed. But I am still her child, as my children will always be mine.

    My Dad has been gone for 25 years and a few weeks. The ache for him is sill there, too.

    Was reading my old blog today, and found this entry.

    March 08/08


    My Mom passed away a month ago today. How incredible it seems that it is 4 weeks already! It feels, some days, like it was yesterday. She would have turned 89 in May. I will miss her.

    Her death was not totally unexpected. When she went into the hospital for this surgery, I began to prepare myself for the possibility that she would not survive. In fact, when I saw her last fall, I began to prepare myself for the possibility that I would not see her again in this life. She was visibly unwell then.

    And yet, that hope is always there in us that our loved ones, no matter how ill, or how old, will somehow live for just a little while longer here with us. Selfishly, I wanted that, too, deep down inside me. I wanted my Mom to be here a little longer, for my sake. And for my children's sake. They needed to know her better, I thought.

    But, that was not to be. She has gone home. And I am okay with that. I'll see her again. And my kids are both believers, and I know they will see her again, too. And, more importantly, THEY know they will see her again.

    My Mom taught me so much. She had the heart of a servant......not a slave, but a servant in the way that Christ was a servant. She gave so much of herself to everyone. She was a helpmeet for my Dad, and raised 6 children unselfishly and without thought for her own comfort or pleasure. She stayed at home her whole life to look after us, never worked outside the home. Her life was her family.

    My Dad was self-employed. (Boy, do I know all about that NOW! Because my husband spent 20 years working for himself!) Dad worked hard to provide for us all. As I look back on my growing-up years, I can see that every single need that we had was provided for us! Amazing, in this world now, many years later, when our "wants" have suddenly become our "needs", and the things we used to need are now merely taken for granted as we fill our lives with toys.


    We never wanted for food. Or clothing. Or a home. We had many things that I know my parents sacrificed their own wants to give us. We had toys and treats at Christmas and birthdays.

    I also had a lot of hand-me-downs, as I was the youngest of 5 daughters. But the majority of those hand-me-downs, I was proud to call mine, eventually. (I drew the line at my first bra.....I didn't want one worn by 4 older sisters!). Most of them had been sewn by my Mom on her old Elna sewing machine, that never did work properly when I tried to use it, but worked like a charm for her. Often she would sew late into the night to finish a dress or other outfit for one of us girls, or maybe for herself. I was proud to wear anything that my Mom had sewed for me. Those items of clothing were always better than any store-bought article. She taught me to sew. And to embroider and do other handwork. Things that I still love to do to this day.

    We had good food when I was growing up. Mom cooked every meal and made Dad's lunch for him every day, and made our school lunches for us when we entered schools that weren't close enough for us to come home for lunch. Lazy children we were! How easy it would have been for me to make my own lunch, as my own children have done, and take a little of that burden off my Mother! How little I learned until I was older and had children of my own......

    We had roast beef and Yorkshire pudding and mashed potatoes every single Sunday for dinner, unless it was a holiday. I learned how to make good Yorkshire pudding, but they still don't taste like Mom's did. My children love Yorkshire pudding now, the odd time we actually have roast beef, and I have them all here. Doesn't happen very often. When I was first married, and until we moved away, Mr. mossy and I still had Sunday dinner at "home" every week.

    We had dessert every night. Most times something simple, like a pudding or a cake, or rice pudding or tapioca, or pie. There were always home-baked cookies for our lunches and for snacks. Mom taught me to cook and bake. I don't love to cook or bake, but I know how, because of her example.

    We didn't eat out very often, there weren't fast food places like there are now. I remember a real treat would be a trip on a Sunday afternoon to the Dairy Queen for a chocolate dip cone, and then a drive down to the river bottom......Indian Battle Park, usually. Fort Whoop-up. (Look it up.....I bet it's on Wiki.......). A bunch of kids and Mom and Dad all piled into the great big ship of a car, no seatbelts, on a Sunday afternoon drive and playtime in the Park. Good memories.

    When we were all married and out of the house, Mom and Dad treated themselves every week to a dinner out at one of the Chinese food places, every Saturday night. They deserved it. Often, they invited us.

    My Mom worked hard. She didn't have all the amenities that we enjoy. I was an older child before she had a washing machine that was not the old wringer type. And even after she got a dryer, she hung the wash out on the clothesline most of the time, even in winter. I remember bringing in frozen sheets and underwear, and having to iron them dry! I remember ironing! There was no permanent press, everything was cotton, and it all had to be ironed. Dad's shirts, our dresses, the pillowcases, the tablecloths. I don't recall ironing sheets, but Mom might have, at one time.

    There were no dishwashers. The kids took turns doing the dishes at supper. One would wash and another dry. Mom did the dishes during the day, since we were off early to school and had no time to do the breakfast or lunch dishes. We had a couple of dishwashers when my own children were small, but they never worked to my satisfaction, and now we haven't had one for many years. My daughter is gone now, but I remember her and MelMak taking turns washing and drying dishes, and they had the same good times and silliness that I had with my siblings doing the dishes when I was growing up. Good memories. I hope my children will keep those good memories, too.

    Mom and Dad took us to church. I feel like I was born in the church! And I am sure we practically lived there! We learned at a young age how to worship God. Mom played the piano. Dad sang. We all sang. We still sing. Music was and is an integral part of our lives. We sang as a family group, we sang solos and duets and trios and all sorts of combinations. And we all sang in the choir. After Mr. mossy and I moved away, it was one of my greatest joys to go back "home" for a weekend visit, and to sing in church with my Dad, Mom accompanying us on the piano. We had a repetoire of many songs, and once or twice through one of them on Saturday, and once before leaving for church on Sunday morning was usually enough practice for us. We learned new songs, too.

    Both of my parents served in the church beyond the music. They taught Sunday school, they were members of the board and the trustees, and took part in all the activities that came along. And they were hospitable. Almost every Sunday evening after church we had a group of people into our home for coffee and fellowship. Often we had a missionary either staying at our home or having a meal with us. I loved to have the missionaries over! What wonderful and terrible stories they told! As a young girl I remember going with my Mom to missionary meetings during which we tore up old sheets and rolled them up into bandages or packed clothing (with buttons intact......that's another story) into boxes to ship off to the foreign fields.

    Mom and Dad taught us how to worship at home, too. Scripture reading and prayer were common. And discipline. We learned to respect our parents, and by extension, other authorities, and God. We didn't learn respect out of fear, but out of love. The love that allowed our parents to discipline us when we needed to be disciplined. I remember the only time my mother spanked me.......I had lied to her about something. I was about 5. I hate lying to this day.

    My Mother's children sometimes grieved her. Out of 6 children, 4 of us are believers, one sister is not, and spent her life reflecting that, and the 6th, the only son, took his own life at the age of 33, two years after my Father died. Only God knows my brother’s heart. Mom grieved. And blamed herself. For my brother's death, for my one sister's lifetime of seeming unbelief. I think in her later years she realized that she could not force her belief on any of us. We had to come to faith on our own. I learned that about my own children from watching her grief over hers.

    And for those of us who did come to faith, we are at peace with Mom's death. I pray hard for my one sister. She is SO empty. She feels Mom's absence more than the rest of us. She has, at this point, no hope of seeing Mom again. She wants to fill that hole inside herself with Mom's things. She wants! All of Mom's things. She wants those memories that she has to be imparted into the things that were Mom's "stuff", when the memories are really in her heart. But she thinks her heart is empty. I ache for her. (Edit to add: This sister has since passed away, less than 2 years after my Mom).

    From the moment I heard about Mom having died, I was at peace. I still am. I know that peace is from God, because I know that I have no peace inside of me apart from Him. Yes, I am sad. I will miss her. I weep as I write this. And music! Music is SO hard for me right now. But that will pass. It was that way when Dad died, too. I will sing again, I know.

    And I am so grateful for the peace that God gives, and the assurance that I will see Mom, and Dad, again. I am so thankful for my Mother. For all the things I learned from her. For her life of giving and love and unselfishness. For her love for God.

    Mom had a good dash. I am still needing to work on mine.

    See you in the morning, Mom.


    Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

  • #2
    ~ Russell ("MelMak")

    "[Sing] and [make] melody in your heart to the Lord." -- Ephesians 5:19b

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    • #3
      Today would have been my mom's 80th Birthday.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sparko View Post
        Today would have been my mom's 80th Birthday.



        Securely anchored to the Rock amid every storm of trial, testing or tribulation.

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